What I've noticed through dissecting my mind's thoughts, is that after a certain amount of dissection has happened, my mind basically has started to retaliate, and fight back, if you will, fight back against me. I've noticed that my mind does this by basically throwing SO MANY thoughts/points at me, it is certainly overwhelming at first. Prior to finding Desteni, I never thought of anything, well, I never knew about the powers of the mind and how strong those powers are over my physical body.
But it's like my mind is using a defense mechanism whereas I dissect point by point, and my mind is just flooding and opening all of these points that are COMMON SENSE points. Lately, it's like I've forgotten how to apply common sense in situations. My mind has been throwing my common sense out the door, and has just attempted to open up all of these unnecessary points that I should be relying on within common sense.
Obviously, there's all the reactions/emotions/feelings/backchats that I never knew about prior to investigating Desteni/dissecting my mind - I understand that within writing, that is how I learn to not participate in those points, but I did rely on common sense prior to discovering Desteni. I must bring that common sense back, because right now, there are points opening up within myself that should be/and used to be dealt with common sense.
So, there are certain points that I've written about before that I never have had a problem with prior to investigating Desteni. I'm talking about basic, common things that all humans do. But through dissecting my mind's thoughts, my mind is attempting to delete this common sense from within me, and if I allow that, I'll be writing and writing about points which do not need to be written about, which are common sense.
I feel that this is why I've been struggling to break down and dissect certain points within myself. Because within a state of common sense, I KNOW that these points should be kept basic, yet, my mind tells me that I need to obsessively think about these points, obsessively write about them - but it gets me nowhere, because I have forgotten that my starting point of these points is COMMON SENSE. My starting point of these certain points is NOT a reaction, NOT an emotion, NOT a feeling - they are all originated within common sense.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be drawn in by my mind to withdraw my common sense that I had prior to investigating Desteni.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed my mind to open up and open up a whole bunch of unnecessary points within me - not realising that this is a defense mechanism within my mind at throwing a bunch of points at me which I do not need to dissect since they are based on and originated within common sense.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to then question Desteni and question the dissection of my mind, the writings - I commit myself to realise and understand that my mind is not used to being written out, and that is why it's retaliating - through throwing so many points at me, which I in fact do NOT need to write about.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to UNDERESTIMATE the power and deviance of my mind.
When and as I see myself accepting and allowing my mind to throw points at me in which I SHOULD be seeing within common sense, as I did prior to first dissecting my mind, I stop and breathe. I realise that my mind uses a defense mechanism because it is not used to being dissected and written out - my mind is USED to being in control of myself, controlling myself, my thoughts, my actions, and everything else within my physical body - I'm changing that within being my physical body ONLY, thus my mind attempting to fuck me up with unnecessary points that do not need to be written out, since they're based within common sense.
When and as I see myself blaming Desteni, and pointing fingers towards Desteni within myself because of the struggles I'm facing within MYSELF (key word = MYSELF), I stop and breathe. I realise that Desteni is not to blame whatsoever, I realise that my mind is the only entity in which I'm facing, and it is doing all it can to fuck me over and STOP me from truly dissecting it, as to then live within equality and oneness in each and every breath here and within my physical self as me.
I commit myself to continue and continue dissecting points within my mind, BUT, to make sure that the points TRULY need to be written out, to LOOK at the ORIGIN of the points to make sure that they are a reaction, a fear, a feeling, an emotion, backchat - and I check to make sure that the point is then NOT a common sense point, and if it IS a common sense point, I stop and breathe - I realise that my mind is only bringing up these common sense points within me because I am dissecting my mind and writing my mind out, and it is thus not used to being dissected and so on.
I commit myself to NOT attack, to NOT blame Desteni for any struggles that I have within MYSELF. I realise that the struggles that I face are NOT because of Desteni, that they are in fact because of my MIND, and they are because of MYSELF - because of myself accepting and allowing unnecessary points to be written out - when I have always, and still should, look at these points through common sense - within that, I commit myself to always apply common sense on points to make sure if they really need to be written out or not.