Saturday, 9 August 2014

Day 253 - Depriving myself of tv viewing

I've had a tv in my room for a long time, but it's just been sitting there. I haven't watched this tv for months. A while ago, I sold a few things of mine that I thought were of no importance to me, since I don't really 'need' them. I sold my iPod, a few old phones, and a camera. The iPod I sort of regret selling. I was in the thinking that "Okay, when this iPod ceases to work, will I realistically buy another iPod, will I shell out money to buy another iPod?" And I answered "No." to that question.

Back then, I was always considering the future. So, if I needn't an iPod in the future, then I needn't it now. That sort of thing. But it wasn't until recently that I realised that although I may not have wanted to buy another iPod after this one ceased to work, I still could have used this iPod that I currently had. And if it died in a few years time, then so be it. But, I could have used it for the time being.

I'm in that same basic scenario with my tv. I know that the majority of tv is basically brainwashing the public into fuck knows what, but occasionally, there is something worthy of viewing on tv. I especially like certain documentaries about the public. Certain habits, phobias - I find it all interesting to see how these people live. Anyway..the point is, I was depriving myself of tv because again, I didn't see myself buying a new tv. I already have a laptop - a laptop is a necessity for me personally. I can do anything on it, basically. Listen to music, interviews, watch videos, research, interact socially (as long as I have internet) - things like that.

So, I see my laptop as an all-in-one device. And I'd say that a lot of people see it as that. The reason that I haven't sold this particular tv that is in my room is because I had planned to keep it around for when/if I move out with a friend of mine. And that way we won't have to buy a tv, I'll have a spare one with me - but I'd still not make much use of the tv, in that case.

So - this boils down to me getting rid of things in my present, just because I don't need them in my future. A lot of the time I do this, I look much too far into the future, I DON'T live in the PRESENT, the NOW, the WHAT MATTERS. It's all good to consider the future, but to live in the future is just compromising myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not use my tv just because I have pictured myself in the future not needing/wanting to watch tv.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to view everything on tv to be brainwashing bullshit that is not worth viewing - realising that despite the amount of brainwashing programs on tv, once in a while there is something worth viewing on tv - and it's also cool to see what is happening around the world via news programs - and within the news programs, I can then dissect it to see if it's legit or some brainwashing material shoved in my face.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to look too far into the future - within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself and my position HERE by focusing much too much on my future-self and what I need/do not need in the future of my being - within this, I commit myself to live in the NOW, the PRESENT - but, also to consider the future, WITHIN REASON - not seeing the future as an obsession in which I've accepted and allowed to take place within my mind.

When and as I see myself focusing on the future and what I need/don't need in terms of personal belongings to a point of obsession, I stop and breathe. I realise that any future-obsession is a origin-point within my mind that I've accepted and allowed to control me/my motives - I commit myself to STOP, BREATHE - and to live in my present body, my present physical body, as I am here.

I commit myself to apply common sense within myself by focusing on the present, and only focusing on the future within common sense - NOT within obsession/obsessive thoughts created through my mind.

I commit myself to use the utensils and things that I currently have in my possession, my tv included, even though I may not buy another tv in the future, I can still put it to good use now - within reason.

I commit myself to also not look too far into the future by seeing a movie for instance in which I 'like' at this moment in time, but then I think to myself "Will I like this movie in 30 years time?" and accepting and allowing myself to 'unlike'/decide to 'not like' that movie just because I don't see myself liking that movie in 30 years time - realising that thinking that far into the future is a compromise of myself and my wants/actions.

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