Monday, 1 September 2014

Day 275 - Part 2 (Panic) - Panicking when I thought my tyre popped

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I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to engage myself into a reaction of panic when and as I hear air being released from what I assumed was my car's tyre.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to immediately think to myself that it's 'my' issue, and I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into a state of thinking of "Why do 'bad' things always happen to me?".

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to think that 'bad' things only happen to me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to connect the image of my tyre being popped to images/memories that I've seen in the past where people have car issues and are stuck in traffic, while other car drivers are insulting that stranded person and being impatient/inconsiderate to that stranded person and their car.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear being swore at and being judged negatively by other road users if my car were to be stranded/stuck.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not BREATHE in the moment of panic onsetting within myself - so that I can stay within my physical self and not 'consider' 'bad' things/thoughts such as my tyre being popped and then other road users swearing at me and judging me negatively.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to view the general public as road users as 'inconsiderate' people.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to think that I of all people were stranded with my car, that EVERY single person would have a go at me, abuse me, swear at me, mock me, and judge me negatively - within this, I realise that I've allowed myself to go into the "Why do 'bad' things always happen to me?" persona.

Commitment statements to follow.

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