Sunday, 21 September 2014

Day 294 - 'To be honest..'


So, I had this realisation the other day. I had said to another person 'To be honest...something, something.' I can't actually remember the exact context that I had used at that time and the phrasing that I used in terms of 'to be honest', I've nonetheless used the term 'to be honest' to say something in which I feel like I MUST say those words to show the honesty within my words that I say thereafter, after saying 'to be honest'. So, quick example, I might say to someone 'To be honest, I hate John.' < example, I know no John's, lol.

So, I just mean in terms of that, and that's what I've noticed as I say that, it's like..in that moment as I speak those words, it's like a tool and a conclusion to prove to the person that I'm saying it to that I'm being 100% completely honest with myself, and with them. So......now I look at the times where I DON'T say 'to be honest' blah blah blah. Which is in fact the MAJORITY of the time. I don't know about others, but in my case, I RARELY say 'to be honest'. And because of that, it gives off the impression to myself and those around me that in those times where I do NOT say 'to be honest', I'm in fact NOT being HONEST.

You know, I'm sure nobody sees it like that, I mean, I never had my whole entire life until the other day as I said. I suppose one reason being is that I rarely say 'to be honest' within any context/sentence that I say to another person.

SO, all in all, I'm going to NOT say 'to be honest' at all anymore, because to me it is pointless. If I am truly honest in each breath I take, within each step that I make, then why do I have to validate myself or validate an honest 'aura' around myself by speaking the words 'to be honest'? I don't. I can (for example) just say 'I dislike John'. I don't have to say 'To be honest, I dislike John'. I'm already walking my process within self-honesty and each word I speak to another and also within my writings is honest/self-honest. Side note: Disliking people is not cool, that is something that someone has to work/write out within themselves as to stop reactions within disliking someone, just a random example I thought of.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feel the need to express validation/honesty towards myself/another by voicing/typing the words 'to be honest' before then specifying what I feel needs validation within self-honesty for another to then believe me or to make sure that another trusts my words.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realise that through all the times I have NOT voiced the words 'to be honest', that then shows that I'm NOT honest in those times, and it shows that only in the moments/words that I use when saying 'to be honest' am I TRULY self-honest/honest to myself and others.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realise that if I am truly self-honest within myself and honest with others, then I do NOT need to speak the words 'to be honest', as I am in fact honest within each breath that I take, and within each word that I speak to another/in my writings, as I see, realise and understand that self-honesty is KEY to progress within my own process, and also in relation to my progress when talking to others.

When and as I see myself speaking the words 'to be honest' in any given situation as a means of 'validating' my honesty to another person, I stop and breathe. I realise that as I am now self-honest within myself at ALL times, then I automatically can speak honesty to another without feeling the need to validate honesty through speaking those words 'to be honest'.

When and as I see myself not realising that self-honesty/honesty are KEY, I stop and breathe. I realise that both in terms of my writing process/practical process and application, and talking to others, too, honesty is important, as it assists me, and changes me into what is best for all life, through self-honesty.

Within this, I realise that to not be self-honest/honest, is to then suppress myself towards myself/others.

I commit myself to walk each step within my process and to walk within each breath within my process within SELF-HONESTY.

I commit myself to therefore NOT feel the need to validate honesty within myself/to others by expressing the words 'to be honest' as a means of someone trusting me within the context that I give 'to be honest' - I therefore commit myself to ALWAYS be self-honest/honest which in turn gives me NO reason to say 'to be honest' in ANY given context/sentence/scenario, as I am living self-honesty within myself.

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