Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Day 301 - Reliance on means of entertainment


Having to have videos and music on my laptop and backed up on my external hard drive is a means for me to have entertainment benefits for when I for some reason will be without internet access. For some reason..being a trigger memory within myself of when I was at my father's house for the weekend and had no access to internet privileges. For that weekend, I had to find ways to entertain myself - luckily I had an external hard drive with me so that I could then plug it into the tv and watch whatever videos and listen to whatever music was on my external hard drive.

That's what I consider a lot - what if for whatever the reason may be, I was without internet access. What would I do....? It goes to show how reliant I've become on the internet in general. And the ability to access the internet. It's pretty crazy how many things can be done via the internet...I mean, almost ANYTHING can be done via the internet. The internet has certainly come a long, long way. It reminds me of a recent conversation I had with someone about how reliant we as humans are these days on the internet, and this person telling me how 'cool' it was to have NO internet access whatsoever when they were growing up - in the 70's/80's. I used to long for being able to be in that time period where I could physically do things, without being reliant as I am these days on the internet. Having said that, I also always used to imagine myself as being a pothead who smoked weed all day, being one of those hippies, listening and watching music festivals, lol - not anymore.

Anywayyyy, that conversation about our reliance on the internet these days, coupled with my current predicament of my reliance on NEEDING videos/music in my possession to keep myself occupied in times of deprivation....it opens up cool realisations. Of course, along with my process within Desteni, I've come to realise that I create my own entertainment. Seeing videos and music as the ONLY means of entertainment in which I can entertain myself by when lacking internet access is a limitation in which I've accepted and allowed within myself.

It's just that I've grown up with the internet, computers, videogames - those things. And within that, I haven't stopped to see what else to be 'entertainment'. It's cool to 'chill out' every now and then and watch a movie/tv show/listen to music, but those things are NOT necessities, at all. They are only necessities if I see them as necessities.

Self-forgiveness to come on my reliance of videos and music/the trigger memory within myself of being internet-deprived, thus again, relying on videos/music only as to entertain myself and not become 'bored'.

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