Sunday, 26 October 2014
Day 314 - Fear of tablets
No, not tablets that one uses to access the internet and type and such, tablets as in pills - the ones used for medicinal purposes or whatever the purpose may be. Hmm, for as long as I can remember (being a child) I feared tablets. More specifically, I feared to swallow tablets. Absolutely ALWAYS, I'd have a fear that runs along the lines of me choking on the tablet, losing breath - dying.
Thus, as a child, if I needed to take a tablet for medical purposes, my mother would usually crush it up and mix it with some jam or in a cup of orange juice or something similar. I guess it somewhat worked that way, but with the orange juice method, there would always be tablet remains on the base of the cup. And, I don't think I've had a tablet since my childhood. I have had times where I needed tablets, but, I remember in most circumstances, I was able to choose a liquid alternative which I was ALWAYS grateful for.
So, here goes my self-forgiveness/commitment statements on my fear of swallowing tablets.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear to swallow tablets.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I were to attempt to swallow a tablet, that the tablet would get stuck in my throat and that I would thus run out of breath and die in my attempts to swallow a tablet.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be in the moment where I have a glass of water in one hand, a tablet in the other hand - and placing the tablet onto my tongue, whereas I then drink the water from the glass, and go into a fear within my mind, and I instantly envision the tablet getting stuck in my throat and me instantly dying on the spot from the tablet not going down my throat.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not stay within my physical self/body whereas I should place the tablet on my tongue and drink the glass of water, WITHOUT participating within my mind and thus participating within fears of choking on the tablet which is thus me existing within separation of my physical self.
When and as I see myself in the moment of holding a tablet in one hand and a glass of water in the other hand, I stop and breathe. I realise that the glass of water is the means of allowing the tablet to go down my throat smoothly and efficiently - I realise that it is an aid to assist me/the tablet in assisting my body therefore through actually ingesting the tablet.
When and as I see myself going into mind created fears of choking on the tablet once the tablet is in my mouth and I'm about to drink a glass of water, I stop and breathe. I realise that the only obstacle that is in ACTUALITY standing in my way and the way of me swallowing the tablet in itself, is MY MIND. I realise within myself that there is no other reason and no other means for me to not be able to swallow the tablet - I realise that there are no physical boundaries/obstacles standing in my way of swallowing a tablet with the assistance of a glass of water - thus, I commit myself to be HERE and STAY HERE within my physical body and see/touch the tablet and also the glass of water, to see them as equals to me and realise the aids of both the tablet/the glass of water to assist me in maintaining a healthy body.
I commit myself to not participate within fears of choking on a tablet/dying from choking on a tablet.
I commit myself to see, realise and understand that there is no physical/realistic reason for a tablet to get stuck in my throat - within this, I therefore see, realise and understand that IF there is a fear within me not 'being able' to swallow a tablet with the aid of a glass of water, that I've actually succumbed to my mind and the fears therefore that go along with my participation in my mind as fear.