Sunday, 9 November 2014

Day 324 - Boosting selective egos

This point came to me while I was hanging out on the beach this weekend. There were quite a lot of people on the beach, some in the sea. I was sitting on the beach, reading a dictionary, and this woman walked past that I considered 'attractive'. I had urges to go up to her to talk to her, to compliment her on the way she looked/dressed, make general chit-chat. And to sum those things up - flirt.

Then I was thinking, the impact of one's appearance is absurdly and incredibly vital in society. But of course, it should NOT be. Anyway, as this woman walked away, I was thinking to myself about the reasons as to why so many 'attractive' people have such insanely inflated egos, and think they're 'all that'. Imagine how many compliments they would have received throughout their life, how much others would flirt with them. In a strange way, they have a 'right' to think that they're amazing, that they're great - and it's my fault for that. For each time I talked to someone through intentions of flirtation just because of something as MEANINGLESS as one's appearance.

On the other hand, I was thinking then about all of those people who were unstable about their appearance (this goes for me too) and would not receive compliments, would not get talked to, at least, not for flirtation purposes. Those people, they have a 'right' to be ashamed of their appearance, as, nobody made a 'pass' at them, nobody seemed to be interested in them. I just found that interesting. Hmm. So, instead of treating eachother as an equal, we've boosted selective people's egos, and at the same time, left 'others' in our wake. Those 'others' being the ones that nobody seemed to pay attention to, and that nobody flirted with for instance.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to boost selective egos.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to choose only the ones that I found 'attractive' of being 'worthy' of talking to because of something as meaningless as one's physical appearance. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to stand from the starting point of physical appearance being the only factor of whether I talk to someone/hang out with someone.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for the people in the past that I have spoken to/flirted with - and thus allowed them to have inflated egos whereas they consider themselves thus better than 'average' people/others.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to through my selective flirtations with others, brought others 'down' in terms of ignoring them, and acting like I don't care for others who I deem as 'average-looking' or 'not attractive enough'.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not treat each person, no matter their physical appearance, as equals, in each way, shape and form.

When and as I see myself having urges to flirt/converse with another from the starting point of physical appearance only, I stop and breathe. I realise that not only am I boosting their mind ego's, but I'm visibly ignoring others' just because of their 'lack' of appearance that I find 'attractive' enough.

I commit myself to when at gatherings, parties, social situations - to NOT talk to someone because of one's physical appearance exclusively, and to instead make sure that my starting point is to ONLY talk with another for purposes of simple conversation, to make friends, to get to know others - in equal consideration in all aspects. At the same time, I commit myself to NOT IGNORE 'attractive' people because I deem that they already 'get' enough attention, and thus ignore them on purpose as my way of not boosting their egos.

I commit myself to talk to all people, anyone, as a way of getting to know someone, and to find out which people have similar interests to me, with a similar starting point of cool conversation.

I commit myself to not flirt my way to get something/someone. I commit myself to realise that a starting point of flirtation only shows another my 'true' colours and my true intentions.

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