Saturday, 22 November 2014
Day 337 - 11:11, part 2
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed to 'believe' in the '11:11 message' just because of an association it had with Desteni, whereas because I know of Desteni to be the best for all way in which to change myself, that I attached and believed that 11:11 time attachment to Desteni to be true.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to participate and hang onto the memories of the times when I 'occasionally' saw the 11:11 time, whether it be checking my phone, or looking at the clock - and participating within those memories when and as I saw that the Self & Living page uploaded the artwork at '11:11 pm'.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to see the 11:11 time as a 'message' from the grave, that being my deceased brother. Within this, I realise that I was HANGING onto a 'dream' and a 'spiritual message' that I had created within myself that I WANTED to believe, but that was in fact just that, a dream, a lie - and a slender hope of 'conversing' with my deceased brother.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realise within myself that I was literally WANTING to see the 11:11 time.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realise that those times that I saw the 11:11 time, NOTHING actually CHANGED within myself, in ANY WAY WHATSOEVER. I realise that the only thing that 'changed' was that I felt 'happy' and 'shocked' to see the 11:11 time, but nothing actually changed within how I direct myself - because alas that is impossible. Spiritual FAKE messages don't change a person, PRACTICAL awareness and direction ACTUALLY change a person.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be so caught up in the whole wanting to see the 11:11 message and feeling happy and surprised when and as I saw the 11:11 message, that I completely abdicated myself within my own life and was so fixated on seeing the 11:11 time, that I was 'up with the fairies' participating within a magical and wanting message that did not truly exist AT ALL.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to because of my previous beliefs in God, to 'create' associations to my deceased brother and thus the 11:11 time when I saw that 'it all made sense' when in reality, I was hanging onto something for the sake of it, instead of MOVING ON within my life and DOING THINGS that actually assist me within my life, thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT move on and to continue to 'hang onto' self-created messages and 'signs' from my deceased brother.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see the COINCIDENCE occurrences happening when and as I saw the 11:11 time, and seeing the 11:11 time at which time the Self & Living page uploaded some artwork. Thus, when and as I see myself throwing COMMON SENSE out the window to instead want to 'believe' in spiritual messages and signs from the grave or wherever they may be, I stop and breathe. I realise that I've accepted and allowed myself to be 'drawn into' religious writings and spiritual writings that associate the 11:11 time with spiritual messages and messages from deceased loves ones and things along the lines of that.
I commit myself to see the 11:11 time if I do so, and NOT react within emotions/feelings, as that is me participating again within memories of 'wanting' to see a 'spiritual' message from my deceased brother, instead of BREATHING and realising within myself that the 11:11 time is simply a TIME, just like any other time, whether that be 11:12 or 11:13, whatever it may be.