Thursday, 27 November 2014
Day 341 - Fear of authority
Since I got my driver's license, I've always felt quite 'nervous' when I for instance drive past a cop car. Or....basically, whenever I see a cop car on the roads that is in my vicinity while I'm driving. It's like "Shit.......I hope I'm not doing anything to deserve being fined or locked up in jail." I mean come on, I somewhat have a right to be 'nervous' especially as one can get 'done' by cops for the most pointless reasons in existence. Number plate slightly covered? That's a $150 dollar fine, thank you.
I haven't been caught for a slightly hidden number plate, or pulled over for speeding. I mean, I see no point in speeding. Why put myself/other road users at risk? Pointless. I've not even been pulled over to be checked for alcohol intake/drugs intake, which I'm a bit surprised about since I've had my license for a few years and am on 'P' plates - And 'P' platers have a reputation, so to speak.
Got a few parking fines, that's about it, they end up costing a fortune, anyway. But anyway....I was driving home today, and there was a truck parked in my lane up ahead. And thus I had to drive into the oncoming lane to get past that truck. I did so, as I saw no cars approaching from that lane, drove past the truck, and I saw a cop car in that oncoming lane, just as I was passing the parked truck. That cop was driving quite fast I might add...guess speed limits don't count for them.....
And as I got back in my rightful driving lane, I did panic somewhat. I always have this feeling if I'm passing a cop...such as.......I mean, I basically think "Fuck, they're going to do a u-turn and come after me!" I mean, it's crazy that I even feel it necessary to react this way. Why do I feel this way? I go back to what I said earlier, cops, police authority can fine a person, pull over a person for almost anything these days. Any excuse to take our money! They don't care, they're just 'doing their job'.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear cop cars in all ways, shapes and forms.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear being fined/pulled over by a cop for some unknown reason.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to participate within a fear of cops, which has been brainwashed into me as to fear the 'law' and fear 'what they can do to me' rendering me helpless and 'weak' because of the POWER that 'authorities' have over me.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to see cops as 'better than me' and more powerful than me, just because they are the 'law'.
When and as I see myself seeing a cop car/driving past a cop car, or a cop car is driving behind me, and I FREAK OUT, I stop and breathe. I realise that as long as I'm driving within suggested speed limits and know that I'm abiding the law, I have NO reason to freak out or panic - thus, I commit myself to drive carefully and appropriately as I always do, no matter what sort of car is behind me/beside me/that I see, cop car or regular car.
I commit myself to drive for myself and other road users in terms of being careful/considerate of other road users, and not 'change' the way that I'm driving if a cop car/cop comes into view whatsoever.