Thursday, 8 January 2015

Day 364 - Fear of 'hurting' another


When I say 'hurting' - I mean, hurting them 'emotionally'. So, someone and I bought something from the shops today. And as we were at the checkout, I noticed that the total amount which was owed did not 'look right'. And as we bought what we bought, I checked out the receipt, and was studying it a bit because the total amount that we ended up paying, it still didn't look right, in fact...I knew it was incorrect - but I did not say anything at the time.

It wasn't until we were heading towards the exit, did the person I was with wonder if we got charged incorrectly. They suspected something was up because I kept checking out the receipt..
So yeah, it wasn't until then that I did say "Yeah, I think we got overcharged." and we worked it out, and we both agreed that we got overcharged. So, we went back to the checkout, told the checkout person, and they corrected the final amount.

But, I knew at the time, what I should have done was SPEAK UP when I knew the total amount due was incorrect. Why didn't I? Because, I feared hurting the checkout person. But it wasn't 'hurt'. Pointing out a mistake is not 'hurting' someone. And also, the checkout person after realising she had made a mistake, she apologised to us, and said that her new glasses were to blame, as she was still getting accustomed to those new glasses. So, it's not like I'm purposely trying to 'hurt' someone by pointing out a mistake, I'm doing it for both our benefit. I get charged the correct amount, and the checkout person can perhaps double check the total amount or get new glasses or whatever they think they must do, so that no further 'mistakes' happen.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not speak up when I KNEW a mistake had been made when purchasing something.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear 'hurting' another by pointing out a mistake they made.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise the benefit that the checkout person and I receive from me actually pointing out that a mistake was made.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel as if I intentionally aimed to 'hurt' a person by pointing out a mistake they made.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to actually prefer to LEAVE the store, despite knowing that I had paid more than I had to, and basically allowing myself to SUPPRESS myself through not pointing out a mistake that in fact assists both parties.

When and as I see myself fearing to SPEAK UP in a scenario where I KNOW I should, I stop and breathe. I realise that failing to speak up when needed to is SUPPRESSION, because I know something is 'not right' and to not speak up is to continually participate within my mind out of a fear of 'hurting' another - where in fact I am just pointing out a mistake of another - which is NOT hurting them with any intention whatsoever. I commit myself to realise the difference between hurting another within intention, and pointing out a mistake of another.

When and as I see myself failing to see the benefit of speaking up in a scenario like this whereas I see that I get charged incorrectly, I stop and breathe. I realise that speaking up and correcting the mistake benefits everyone involved in the scenario, because I get charged the 'correct' amount, while the checkout person learns as well, to perhaps be more careful/double check price amounts to avoid further mistakes when selling items to people. I commit myself to see, realise and understand thus the mutual benefits of me speaking up when I see a mistake, no matter whose mistake it is.

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