Monday, 12 January 2015

Day 368 - Giving power to food


This could also be titled: Relying on food to lift my mood.

Relying on food to lift my mood: That is exactly what happens to me when I decide that I want to buy a food that I proclaim as 'nice'. Usually some sort of takeaway food, pizza, fish and chips - if not those, then 'junk' food: Chocolate, lollies, chips. It 'makes sense' in a way, cause it's like, well for me - when I've felt 'down' or 'depressed' previously, I turn to food. I reckon many can relate to that.

But this can be relate-able to many other things, including one turning to cigarettes, alcohol, drugs. Of course, they are all forms of SUPPRESSION. They are all temporary 'high's'. And I've accepted and allowed food to be my temporary high and suppression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give POWER to FOOD.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing food to have power over me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to consider food as the thing that can 'turn my life around' or 'lift my mood'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that because I proclaim certain foods as 'nice' - I participate within memories of those 'nice tastes' of food, and am thus attracted to that DESIRE to WANT that 'nice taste' of food, and thus within this, I allow that to dictate me as a person, in terms of lifting my mood/making me 'feel' better - when all it is in fact, is a food which I've accepted and allowed myself to see (taste) as 'nice'.

Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that ANY food can turn into a food that I proclaim as 'nice' - NOT just sugar, chocolate and takeaway food. I realise that those foods have certain ingredients within them that ATTRACT me towards them, towards obsessing over them, and thus allowing them to 'control' me and have power over me - which I've obviously allowed within myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realise that temporary highs such as food are NEVER going to 'change' me in the LONG run, or the short run...it's just that I've attached a 'positive' feeling towards foods that I proclaim as 'nice' - yet are only 'nice' because of certain ingredients which again, attract me towards them.

When and as I see myself failing to 'proclaim' foods that I own/buy from local groceries as 'nice' or 'nice tasting' - I stop and breathe. I realise that through participation within my mind, I've allowed myself to be 'drawn' to only certain types of foods, takeaway, chocolate and lollies - because again, through mind-participation, I 'feel' a certain 'high' and a 'buzz' from eating these foods. I commit myself to NOT require a need for a 'buzz'. I commit myself to realise that 'buzz's' are only temporary, temporary highs, and I thus commit myself to continue WRITING, because through writing, I gain PERMANENT highs, because I'm getting to the very source of my reason for highs/buzz's.

When and as I see myself placing certain foods in higher regards to other foods, I stop and breathe. I realise that ANY food that gives me sustenance is a 'nice food' and a 'nice tasting food' - I commit myself to see my actual REASONS for eating food - which should be to sustain myself as life, to nourish my body, and to LISTEN to my body through feeding it. Thus NOT to 'feel' a 'high' - Thus to only feed my physical body, not to feed my MIND.

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