Tuesday, 13 January 2015
Day 370 - Casual to necessary situation part 2
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I must react within some sort of emotion to get a POINT across to another.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rely on an emotion to get a point across to another.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fail to realise that I CAN get a point across to another WITHOUT being influenced by an emotion such as anger.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I can be STABLE and STILL get a 'point' across to another.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I can make a point/situation 'urgent' and 'necessary' by explaining to another WHY I for instance need electricity back in my room asap, whether it be to search for jobs, do my writings, or talk to someone online...or even charge my phone.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to MAKE the situation overly 'casual' - because from the way I was acting/talking to the property owner, they could tell that I was NOT overly keen to get the electricity back on - thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not explain with words that I do really want/need the electricity back ASAP - but to NOT explain/get my point across through ANGER - because that is INSTABILITY and MIND-PARTICIPATION/REACTION.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to 'sit back' and wait for the electricity to return to my room - when I could instead call my property owner every now and then for UPDATES - within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put the onus onto my property owner, instead of taking SELF-RESPONSIBILITY by CHECKING MYSELF for more 'updates' about the situation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate 'too much' in PATIENCE to the point where I am literally suppressing my needs for electricity, through trying to show that I am a patient person and don't 'need' electricity to do things that in actuality, I DO need to do.
When and as I see myself wanting to promote myself as a patient person in regards to how I act towards my property owner, EVEN THOUGH I did in fact want electricity back in my room asap so that I could do my daily tasks, I stop and breathe. I realise that this is utter SUPPRESSION, because I'm HIDING the fact/NEED of me requiring electricity so that I can go about my daily tasks - so, through 'fake patience' - I've shown that 'there's no rush for electricity' even though there quite clearly (only clearly within myself) was a 'rush' for electricity to return - albeit, I failed to SHOW this urgency to my property owner, thus making the situation 'casual' instead of 'necessary'. I commit myself to NOT participate within patience to the point where I am actually suppressing my need for electricity - I commit myself to BE patient, but to make my understanding of needing electricity back asap, make it apparent to my property owner, as a means to 'get my point across'.
When and as I see myself thinking that I MUST participate within an emotion to get my point across to another, I stop and breathe. I realise that throughout my whole life, I HAVE used emotions to get my point across - whether it was participating within anger to show someone that I was pissed off, or crying to show someone that they hurt me somehow. Thus, I commit myself to see, realise and understand that I can do all these things, getting my point across in any way, shape or form, but MINUS any emotions or feelings - So, I commit myself to HAVE a starting point of STABILITY BEFORE I 'say' and 'discuss' the urgency of my need for electricity back when conversing with my property owner, so that in the end, THEY realise that the situation is actually urgent for me, instead of them thinking that 'he obviously doesn't mind if the electricity returns today, tomorrow, or next week.'