Tuesday, 20 January 2015
Day 376 - Professional attire = Pressure zone
So, I've had a few job interviews in the last few days, and I noticed that as soon as I sort of 'dress up' for the occasion and for the upcoming job interview, I instantly go into a 'pressure zone atmosphere' and I start freaking out, lol. Even when I'm just leaving home with this attire, I feel pressure within myself. And yes, it does definitely build up even more just before the interview. Having said that, my ability to maintain stability within myself has increased ten-fold. I have especially noticed this in regards to job interviews, when previously I'd be a nervous wreck, and these days, I'm much more comfortable.
Anyway so like.....as soon as I put on the business pants, the business shoes and the business shirt..oh, and tuck it into my pants, lol - that's when I'm like "FUCK, I am now in the job zone......" Actually yes, a realisation - It's also to do with 'wanting to' 'hold up' a certain appearance. Because you know, 'they' always say to look your best at an interview. Your hair, your.....clothing of course, your umm.....face in general - so that is definitely a big factor in it, needing to 'stay' a certain way, because like, for me, most of these interviews are in the city whereas I need to take a train for about...30 - 40 mins, then walk at least 10 minutes to my destination, and a lot can 'change' in that time, for instance, I could get rained on! (Which I should have prepared for prior to be fair) Umm, just general wind could......mess up my already quite messy hair, things like that, you never know. I might get shat on my a bird, lol. Who knows.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to immediately upon putting on my 'professional attire' - go into a pressure pattern of 'burden' within myself to 'stay looking like this' until I get to my interview/until the interview is over.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to OBSESS over small things, like how my hair looks, if my clothing is not creased - all the way up to my interview - when SOMETIMES, these things simply cannot be taken care of in all circumstances, which is just reality.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realise and understand that although one's presentation is usually important for a job interview, what 'stands out' the most is one's PERSONALITY, and how one 'is' - how one presents their 'inner them'.
Thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to during the interview, be so caught up within backchats that I don't look 'good enough' or I have 'lost the job based on my appearance' - that I literally ONLY focus on those backchats and allow that to manifest within myself by 'not being myself' in terms of not showing an interest in the job, because I'm to busy 'worrying' about how I look.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the less 'worried' I am about my appearance when wearing 'professional attire' - the 'better' I can present myself, and the chances of getting the job increase ten-fold.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place 'extreme emphasis' on the 'professional attire' that I wear to a job interview - and allow myself to carry this WEIGHT around with me when wearing that 'professional attire'.
Thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see my 'professional attire' as the same as my 'casual clothes'. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the 'professional attire' to dictate WHO I AM.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not 'look the part' without obsession/backchats.
Commitment statements next.