Sunday, 8 February 2015
Day 385 - Taking EVERY POINT BACK TO SELF
CAPS. Need to really highlight that for myself, to bring EVERY POINT BACK TO SELF. My buddy within my process has assisted me in realising that I still continue to NOT bring points BACK TO MYSELF. And that is a reason, I realise now, that I struggle to 'let go' of certain points. It doesn't matter who says what, or what they do to me, I have to TAKE IT BACK TO SELF - It's not about pointing fingers, finding someone to blame, finding a culprit - that gets me NOWHERE. It all starts with me, with self. And if I still react to point/issue, if I still react to a point/issue that I react to if someone says something to me, then I must take that back to self, to find out WHY I still react to words regarding that point. Always starts with self.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ALWAYS look for something EXTERNAL to blame. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for a culprit outside of myself, instead of taking SELF-RESPONSIBILITY for the reactions that I have towards ANYTHING, and using that as a means of seeing, realising and understanding that I have a point to write out, a point to forgive myself for, and a point to self-correct/self-commit/self-change.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that the reason that I attempt to find something outside of myself to blame, is because TAKING SELF-RESPONSIBILITY can be 'difficult' to accept - but it MUST BE DONE - because I am absolutely 100% responsible for everything that I do, for the state of Earth, for what I accept and allow to take place on Earth, for the suffering, for everything - and until I and each life takes self-responsibility for what we've each accepted and allowed - Practical change can NOT happen.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to through failing to take self-responsibility for everything that I do and have accepted and allowed, DELAY my process of change and delay my process of understanding/letting go of points, because I've been too busy finding something external to blame, finding an external culprit - all as a means of avoiding SELF-RESPONSIBILITY.
When and as I see myself looking for something/someone outside of myself to blame/to be the culprit to resistances inside of MYSELF/that I HAVE, I stop and breathe. I realise that NOT taking self-responsibility for anything is programmed within me, whereas I within my life have seen MANY TIMES that I ALWAYS find and have found/searched for ANYTHING/ANYONE outside of myself to blame, AS LONG as I was the one that was 'in the clear' so to speak. I realise that this pattern of NOT TAKING SELF-RESPONSIBILITY is one of the reason's that I at times 'struggle' to ACCEPT self-responsibility. But, within this, I realise that this is NO EXCUSE to use - I realise that blame is a program in which I've accepted and allowed myself to exist as, albeit, it's time for me to BREAK this programming, BREAK the pattern of blame - to physically/practically TAKE self-responsibility for ALL that I/we've become - because that is the absolute key to change, after one takes self-responsibility in ALL facets and in all ways, shapes and forms. I commit myself to NOT participate within the blame program within myself, I commit myself to STOP the blame program - I commit myself to HEED the self-responsibility change that is NEEDED within myself, to BREAK my programming, to break the patterns, and to birth myself as life from the physical.