Tuesday, 31 March 2015

Day 401 – An apparent musical life-changing moment

I just wanted to write about this moment, and the realisations within this moment that I now have. A few years ago, perhaps even longer, maybe 5 years ago, I discovered a new band. I've always been into finding new music that I enjoy listening to. The name of this band was Crystal Castles. They’re actually ‘not’ a genre that I have liked before/much, the genre is basically electronic. That may not be specific enough, but it is electronic music, some may call it ‘dance’ music.

Usually I've always mainly been into rock music. Anyway, I was listening to this band, Crystal Castles, and I immediately became hooked on them. I found it unique and like nothing I’d heard before. During that time, I went to my father’s house, because he was away, so I was alone at the house for a week, and...I was basically blasting Crystal Castles through the tv as LOUD as possible lol. Well, actually, not in terms of disturbing people, at least, I didn't mean to do that – but it was quite loud nonetheless.

And wow, I was listening and listening to this band, and I felt this HUGE energy rush within myself. I felt like I was on top of the world, like nothing can stop me, and it GENUINELY felt like a life-changing moment. Like, this music has opened my eyes, this music is the basis for my change, this is what I needed in life. And as I said, I was on such an energy rush, I was buzzing around the house lol. Oh, I remember now, it was raining quite heavily, too. It was also dark outside. And with scant regard for the weather/it being night time, I ran outside, and jumped in the swimming pool that is in the backyard. Lol, it was like an enlightening experience so to speak. I was in the pool, rain pelting down onto me, Crystal Castles in the background. It’s definitely funny writing about it now, but it’s still vivid within my memory. A few days after this moment, I was still ‘relying’ on this particular band to FUEL me, to energise me, to alter me, to make me FEEL something. A year or 2 later, I found out about Desteni, and through reading the articles/watching videos/writing/DIP Lite/Pro, I slowly began to LET GO of my many attachments to music, not only Crystal Castles, but other bands, too. And it was interesting, because I realised that most of the music I ‘liked’ – it was only because of my many emotional attachments to the music. Removing those attachments showed that I did not actually like this music, like for me, it was too basic.

I just wanted to share this experience. Because, in terms of feeling an ENERGY HIGH, this moment REALLY stands out. Of course, it was pure BULLSHIT lol. I know that now, thankfully. And I do still listen to this band, Crystal Castles, but NOT to alter me, not to build up anything within myself, nothing emotional – nothing. I listen to it, simple as that. I enjoy it, but it doesn't do anything for me.

Actual change requires PHYSICAL DEDICATION. It requires time, effort, perseverance. Change CANNOT happen through ENERGY PARTICIPATION. I’m SO glad that I know that now. Energy is only but a temporary phase. It’s not real, it’s not physical/practical, it’s a strict mind-participation/fuck up. Writing, physical/practical application, this is what change is, nothing more, nothing less.

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