Tuesday, 31 March 2015

Day 403 – Forced laughter part 2

When and as I see myself desiring a form of ‘acceptance’ through making another laugh/another laughing at a joke that I make, and seeing one laughing at my joke as the ‘ultimate form of acceptance’ – I stop and breathe. I realise that although laughter is very cool in its PHYSICAL form, FORCED laughter for the SAKE of making another laugh or attempting to, is mere participation within my mind of a desire for acceptance, which I realise now is only something that I can give to myself. I commit myself to STOP seeking acceptance through others, through making others LAUGH. I commit myself to see where I can improve on things, as to accept myself for who I am, and/or make the necessary changes through writing/physical/practical application, until I no longer ‘seek for’ acceptance through others, in this case, through forming jokes and desiring another ‘laughing’ at my jokes.

When and as I see myself not accepting who I am/how I present myself when in the vicinity of others, I stop and breathe. I realise that there is nothing that I have to ‘do’ to ‘prove’ to another/myself that I am being ‘accepted’. I realise that I’m only trying to fuel an idea within my mind of how I see ‘acceptance’ and how I see one should be accepted, and within this, I see that making another laugh is one of the BEST forms of ‘acceptance’ – because within myself, I see ‘comedy’ and ‘laughter’ as the best ‘medicine’ – but at the same time, realising that constant joke making or joke-making for the sake of desired acceptance is FAKE, because in REALITY, in physical reality, there is MORE to acceptance than laughter, and in reality, nothing needs to be done to be ‘accepted’ within reality, within my physical body. I commit myself to thus accept myself, to accept the way I am in the vicinity of others. I commit myself to when in the vicinity of others, to not ‘attempt’ to present myself as a ‘joker’ to amuse others/gain acceptance from others, because acceptance differs for everyone, in the idea of how they define acceptance. I commit myself to thus stop ‘pretending’ I am something/someone else, and to just be here in the moment, enjoying the moment, enjoying the interaction with others, without FORCING anything, thus making the moment UNNATURAL and a MIND moment – thus not needing or feeling the need to ‘reach’ expectations within acceptance, because again, in reality, there is NO need to do anything to become accepted within the PHYSICAL.

No comments:

Post a Comment