Thursday, 2 April 2015
Day 406 - Clouded to the 'Destonian' tag
In my 'pursuit' for 'Destonian' people in my life, I've realised that when seeing that 'tag' or 'label' - when seeing the word 'Destonian' - right at that moment, I IGNORE every single 'other' aspect of an individual. Like, because one says that they're a Destonian, or because one participates within Desteni, I ASSUME within IGNORANCE, that they can be 'relied' on so to speak. That I can 'trust them' for the most part. That any 'conflict' that will occur/may occur for whatever reason, will EVENTUALLY be subsided, why? Because, I see that 2 Destonians, or more than 2, can 'reach an agreement' or a solution, ALWAYS. I think this, because I see that the tools allow one to do this, through self-investigation/self-forgiveness/corrective statements. But, within this, I've allowed myself to cloud my perspectives of what a Destonian is. I remember asking someone if I was a Destonian. I desired the tag/label - Destonian. The answer was that, it was up to me whether I was a Destonian or not. And it is up to me. But, it's not a gimmick. Anyone can say they are a Destonian, but NOT truly live what it MEANS to BE a Destonian.
I've placed so much value on the word 'Destonian' - that if I see one say they are a Destonian/see them participating within Desteni, it's like an 'automated' respect to them sort of thing, and a...desire to talk to them. I allow this automated respect towards 'Destonians' - WITHOUT KNOWING THEM on any level. It's vital for me to not be pulled by the force of the word 'Destonian' - the self-created force/energies that I've attached towards the word 'Destonian'.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach positive energies towards the word 'Destonian' and participate within these positive energies as soon as I see/hear the word 'Destonian' come up in relation to another/myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to 'use' the word 'Destonian' to my 'advantage' by perceiving that 'now that I see myself as a Destonian, that I am 'more than others' and 'better than others' - which is completely untrue, and pure separation of myself in relation to others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be so under the influence of the word 'Destonian' and one being a Destonian, that I have allowed myself to COMPLETELY ignore HOW that person is/what they are, because within this, I've allowed myself to ignore/suppress how/what the person actually is, how they live etc, in favour of what I WANT THEM to be, that is, a Destonian, within this, a person who I can rely on/trust, who can assist me, as I assist them, to resolve potential conflicts if they arise.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within the self-created fantasy/imagination that 'everything will be well if I were to be in a relationship with another Destonian' - again, allowing myself to ignore how the person is in their current state.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that whether one 'is' a Destonian or not is NOT important, it is whether one LIVES what it MEANS to be a Destonian, this is VITAL - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to throw around the word 'Destonian' - WITHOUT considering what it MEANS to BE and LIVE as a Destonian, as one who is equal and one with all life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to throw around the word 'Destonian' lightly, instead of really seeing and understanding and realising what it truly means to be a Destonian.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise, that my POINT/POINTS of change/my practical/physical change is WHAT is NECESSARY, and that CHANGE is my ultimate goal now, and whether the word was 'Destonian' or a completely different word, the CHANGE within myself is what STANDS, and what is necessary, NOT how the changed person is 'described' or 'labelled as'.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be 'willing' to enter a relationship/friendship/communicate with anyone, just because they are a Destonian, instead of getting to KNOW the person, and what their interests are, how they live, what is happening within their life and so on.
When and as I see myself seeing the word 'Destonian' as some 'godly symbol' within self-created attachments towards the word 'Destonian' with positive energies/feel good energies, I stop and breathe. I realise that ANYONE can SAY that they are for instance a Destonian, but the ONLY thing that COUNTS/MATTERS is whether one TRULY SHOWS that they ARE a Destonian, an individual who is one and equal with all life, who can evidently show that they are one and equal with all life/in their process of reaching this goal. I commit myself to ALWAYS look at the person, ANY PERSON, to know them, to understand them, to come to an answer as to whether they will for instance 'assist' and 'support' me within a friendship of some sort, or a relationship, instead of BLINDLY 'accepting' one, especially a Destonian, and 'taking them as they are' because they participate within Desteni and label themselves as a Destonian.
When and as I see myself accepting and allowing 'positive energies' to arise within my mind when and as I see/hear the word 'Destonian' - I stop and breathe. I realise that a Destonian is just a word, as is any other word, and it's 'impact' is DEPENDENT on how I DEFINE IT, and WHAT I attach to it, if anything. Thus, I commit myself to see, realise and understand what BEING a Destonian MEANS. I commit myself to thus live the principles of what a Destonian IS, in its PRACTICAL/PHYSICAL form/essence, INSTEAD of labeling myself as a Destonian, FOR FEEL-GOOD reasons WITHIN MY MIND.