Saturday, 4 April 2015

Day 407 - GET THE F$^# OUT OF BED


I must say, I have written about this topic about a million times (not really) but it seems like that much, BUT, I will write about it again, another million times (not really) until I let go/change this point.

So, I am still 'struggling' to exit my bed after waking up. I already know that after waking up ONCE, it is time to WAKE UP FOR REAL. Sometimes I do tend to wake up, and sit up in my bed, and watch some tv, or watch something, or...listen to stuff - I don't see anything wrong with that, but the thing that I must stop doing, is GOING BACK TO SLEEP. Nothing good comes from going back to sleep. This pattern needs changing. Needs writing, and physical/practical change, of course. So, let's see..

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to require an external purpose/reason/motive, to NOT go back to sleep after waking up for the first time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wake up, 'feel' tired, and use that AS AN EXCUSE to go back to sleep again, in the BELIEF that I 'require' ADDITIONAL sleep, when in reality..it just takes some time to 'get myself together' within my physical body after immediately waking up after a sleep.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to FORGET about each and every time that I HAVE in fact woken up first time and STAYED awake, and the benefits that my physical body reaps for doing so.

When and as I see myself participating within the BELIEF that I require additional sleep after first waking up, because I 'feel' tired, I stop and breathe. I realise that it doesn't exactly 'make sense' for one to feel SUPER AWAKE AND READY FOR THE DAY as soon as they wake up, I realise that it takes some TIME, to 'get with it' and to 'get into the zone' - the physical body zone, it is not an instant thing. It requires time/patience, as does all movements in life. Thus, I commit myself to NOT allow backchats of requiring more sleep, because of 'feeling' like I need more sleep. I commit myself to BREATHE, because that will increase my chances of 'getting in touch' with my physical body, and at a faster rate, and use that as a means to really know what is best for my physical body in that moment of consideration of whether to sleep more, OR, to do what I KNOW is best for my physical body - STAYING the F$^# awake.

When and as I see myself 'requiring' some sort of external factor as motivation/purpose/reason as 'incentive' to WILL myself to stay awake, I stop and breathe. I realise that relying on external things, whatever they are, to do what is best for my physical body, is BOUND to fail. Because, I can't 'rely' on external things. The only thing I CAN rely on, is my OWN WILLINGNESS to CHANGE, to STAY AWAKE. And that comes from WITHIN myself, not OUTSIDE of myself. I am in control of my physical body. Thus, I commit myself to immediately upon waking up for the first time, to breathe as I mentioned earlier, and to either sit up in bed, or get out of bed entirely, and to absolutely STOP myself from 'wanting' and 'desiring' to LIE DOWN AGAIN. As I have seen on just about EVERY occasion, lying down again in bed leads to MORE SLEEP, even if I try to not sleep lol. The fact that I lie down in the first place is the GIVING INTO MY MIND pattern. As soon as I lie down, that's it. The mind wins. The pre-programmed pattern wins. So, I thus commit myself to be aware of my physical body after waking up, to keep it steady, 'upright' and obviously to not participate within the belief that I require more sleep through lying down again which always for me, leads to more sleep, which leads to a 'dreary' physical body.
I commit myself to not allow my physical body to lie down. I commit myself to not lie down, as I know what that leads me to. I commit myself to not 'half' lie down, as in..lying down, but keeping my head 'up' as to fool myself into thinking that I am 'still' awake, as I realise that in fact, the movement of me lying down AT ALL, is the reality that I am still within a pattern of DESIRING additional sleep. I commit myself to not 'lie' to myself by 'half' lying down after waking up.

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