Saturday, 11 April 2015

Day 414 - Am I no longer 'human'?


Lol, that title I find funny. Right of the bat, I can easily say that I am and will remain 'human' for life. That is what I am. The type of life that I am = human.

But the thing that I am talking about in regards to being 'human' - is within my process, and I immediately know why I have a fear of no longer being human/not being seen as 'human' the further I go into my process. It's because of how I see a human. More like, how I HAVE seen a human 'should' be like. What a human should be like. How they should act. All of these 'shoulds'. But I knew no better within the majority of my life.

The main reasons for me seeing life as human are: EMOTIONS and FEELINGS. I've always seen those two supposed 'qualities' as 'human' - and human nature. LOL WHAT A JOKE. Jee, realising that I accepted that blindly, it's funny. So much within life/externally makes no fucking sense, not even a tiny bit of sense. Desteni makes total/complete/absolute sense. And not just plain old sense for the sake of it, but common sense, decency. Everything is explained within Desteni, to the minutest detail.

So here is where I have feared losing 'what makes me human' - within my process with Desteni, I am letting go of my emotions, my feelings, thus this is why I BELIEVE that I am becoming 'no longer human'. My belief is that what makes a human, human - is emotions and feelings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to BLINDLY accept and BELIEVE that what makes a human, HUMAN, are emotions and feelings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to belief that humans are undoubtedly the most intelligent life forms on Earth, because of the ability of humans to show vivid emotions and feelings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not even remotely in the past, consider where/why my emotions/feelings exist - where they come from/how they came to be.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be under the DELUSION and ILLUSION that I am no longer 'human' without emotions/feelings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realise and understand that I am/and always will remain as a human, because that is the type of life that I am, simple as that - just like the dog that I used to live with is an animal/dog. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within separation within my mind/manifesting this separation through these 'differing' labels of animal/human/insect and so on.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to NOT see, realise and understand that the FACT/REALITY is that I AM in fact becoming 'more human' the further I go into my process/the deeper I go into my process, because what a human and any life should BE/live as, equates to what it means to live the principles of Oneness and Equality - and I am doing this, slowly but steadily - this is what all life must strive to be/become.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I can't 'connect' with other humans, if I no longer 'show' emotions/feelings within myself/when with others. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to belief that it is/was HEALTHY to connect with others/myself through emotions/feelings, when this is a myth/fake/suppression, because it's not showing one's TRUE self, which is their physical self, their physical embodiment - they/I was just showing the thoughts/beliefs and all the judgments/fears, emotions and feelings that came up within my mind that weren't REAL/weren't really ME.

When and as I see myself believing that what makes a human, human, are emotions and feelings, I stop and breathe. I realise that throughout my whole life PRIOR to investigating Desteni, I literally RELIED ON and SAW emotions/feelings as 'what it means to be human'. Which I see, realise and understand now is total BULLSHIT. And I realise now that I never took the initiative to look at/even consider why these emotions/feelings existed within myself/why they manifested, I simply accepted them, like a life form that plainly accepts whatever the fuck appears/manifests within myself. I commit myself to see, realise and understand NOW, that emotions/feelings DO NOT make a human, human. I commit myself to live what a PROPER/TRUE human should live like. I commit myself to BE human, instead of INHUMANE - as I have done throughout my whole life prior to Desteni.
I commit myself to understand/accept within myself that I am/always have/will be human, as that is just the 'type' of life-form that I am - emotions/feelings do NOT make me a human, emotions/feelings make me INHUMANE and FAKE.

When and as I see myself fearing that I will no longer have the ability to 'connect' with others on an 'emotional' level, I stop and breathe. I realise that, because I've lived as an emotional being for the majority of my life, I literally am under the illusion that there is NO other way to 'connect' with others, and within this, that connection must be emotional. Which is untrue. I realise that 'connection' with another/anything is purely physical-based, because it's what one's actions are that defines them, NOT what emotions/feelings they show, because emotions/feelings originate within one's mind, they are but temporary highs or lows, they are NOT physical/practical and thus REAL, as one's physical actions show/do. I commit myself to connect with others through my PHYSICAL/PRACTICAL actions - I commit myself to not deem it 'necessary' and 'normal' to act within an emotional state for the 'purpose' of connecting with another, because already within that, I am living a lie within myself/my mind, manifesting emotions/feelings for the sake of connection. Connection is physical.

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