Monday, 13 April 2015

Day 415 - Life isn't a competition

I still see many facets within my life within this 'competitive' type of mentality. Like, trying to outdo someone at something. All it does is fuel this self-created desire within my mind of wanting to do something better than another, in the belief that 'winning' or doing better than another will actually reward me somehow.

If I stay focused on what I'm doing, how I do it, and all the facets in relation to how I do something - that's the best thing to do as far as I know. That way, I can be in total control of what I do/how I do it, without 'feeling' the need (belief) to do something better than another, and within that, participating within this self-created competitive point within my mind of winning/beating someone. What does that do, really? Apart from FUELLING the ego within my mind, and having that 'positive' feel-good energy within my mind - NO THANKS.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as the 'competitor' within my mind, and within this participation, manifest a desire to do something better than another/win/beat another at something, only to build/feed/fuel this self-created mind-ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not focus strictly on what I am doing, as to do the best that I can at something - to put all of my resources into what I am doing, that way, I can see that I'm doing the best job that I can, without feeling the need to 'better' another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to TURN 'casual situations' into COMPETITIONS, though, they are only competitions within MY MIND - a  belief that I have. When in reality, the other person/thing that I apparently am 'competing' against, does NOT have this same belief that I have - this belief of apparent competition was created within my mind ONLY - so in reality, I am just competing against myself, and against my mind - a pointless task.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realise and understand that the supposed 'reward' that I get when apparently 'beating' another/winning/doing something better than another is an EGO-BOOST within my mind - THAT is the 'reward' - as that apparent reward does not assist my PHYSICAL BODY in any way, shape or form, it's meaningless and a waste of time.

When and as I see the 'competitor' character emerge within my mind and manifests itself as a desire to do something better than another/beat them/win against them, I stop and breathe. I realise that within this, I accept and allow this belief that doing something better than another/beating them/winning against them will bring me 'great reward' - when in reality, the only reward that I 'get' is a boost for the ego within my mind - and this ego boost within my mind does not alter/assist my physical body in any way, shape or form - and if that is the case, and it is, then this belief is simply irrelevant, as it does nothing to assist anyone/anything's physical self. Thus, I commit myself to see what is best for my physical body/self, and that is, to do what I must do to the best of my physical ability, and that is all.

When and as I see myself creating this belief within my mind of making a casual situation, a COMPETITION with another, I stop and breathe. I realise that this desire to create/participate within and as this competitor within my mind, shows that I am still wanting to feed/fuel energy within my mind, within the ego, which I then manifest as a 'feel good' sensation within my physical body - but this 'feel good' sensation/manifestation is obviously reliant upon my mind and the belief that I must enter competitions to 'feel this way' - and that is the sign right there that this method is not assisting/helping me at all, because to create a competition JUST to feel a certain way, that is not how life 'should' be. Life is not a competition. Life is to assist one another to reach goals, unified goals for all/each life - no competition implied/accepted, only physical unity in assisting eachother, always. I commit myself to assist life. I commit myself to not turn casual situations into competitive situations in a belief within my mind that in doing so, I have the ability to make myself 'feel good' - this is bullshit, because the origin of this 'feel good' energy is from my mind, thus it's fake as can be, it's not REAL, like my physical body is. I commit myself to use my physical body to do and be the best that I can be within a physical sense - to focus on the job that I do/the situation that I'm in/do - because that way, I can be assured that I'm giving something 100% of my physical labour, and not for instance bringing that percentage OVER 100% or under for the sake of 'wanting to be better than another' and thus within this, end up fucking myself over, by straining my physical body, JUST to feed the ego within my mind.

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