Thursday, 30 April 2015
Day 422 - Evil-looking eyes..
So, I see that I have this fear that my eyes are 'evil-looking' or, just that they look 'weird'. And I see that this is a manifested reason as to why I tend to avoid eye contact with people, because I fear what they will think if they see my eyes. I see that I am judging my own eyes/how they look as 'evil-looking' and 'weird' - nobody else is. And this fear is stopping me from doing things that I can/should be doing. For instance, at the volunteer store that I work at, as I work at the cash register, I am basically the first point of contact for customers. They walk into the store and usually see me first/the person at the cash register first. And this particular volunteer store prides itself on creating a 'warm and fun environment' - and I have not been doing this lol. Not that I've been creating an EVIL/DARK environment, but it's important for me to welcome the customers, to say hi/hello, and to also let them know about the daily discounts, that way, potentially more profit is made - which reflects well onto my manager, myself as well.
Sooo, my eyes.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to belief that my eyes are 'evil-looking' and 'weird'.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to avoid eye contact with others for this reason, because I belief that others will be somewhat 'disgusted' or 'turned off' if they catch eyes with me/see my eyes.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel 'disgusted' and 'turned off' by viewing my own eyes in the mirror.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realise and understand that all eyes are the same, they function the same, but they each have different characteristics, shapes/colours and so on.
When and as I see myself believing my eyes to be 'evil-looking' and 'weird' - I stop and breathe. I realise that this is but a belief/judgment within my mind in which I have manifested through then avoiding eye contact with others wherever I can. I commit myself to thus look at people/people's eyes, and to NOT turn away/look down within the manifestation/participation of these beliefs/fears/judgments that my eyes are 'evil-looking and 'weird'. I commit myself to continue looking at one's eyes, not in a 'creepy' way of course/not for prolonged amounts of time lol, but to look at people in the eye physically, and to not react within participation within my mind and these beliefs/fears/judgments towards my own eyes/how they look.
When and as I see myself not accepting my eyes for how they are in every way, shape and form, I stop and breathe. I realise that despite why my eyes are how they are now, due to whatever may have happened or not, both physically/emotionally and within mind-participation, they are a vital component of my physical body, and they serve their purpose and assist me greatly in every way, shape and form - and their shape/colour does not define them, only I can define them, and I thus commit myself to define my eyes for what they are there for, to see/for awareness purposes, I commit myself to not define my eyes within beliefs/judgments/fears, only as physical eyes for what they are here for.
When and as I see myself in the moment whereas I am looking at someone in the eye, and having these beliefs/thoughts/fears and wanting to manifest this by looking away, I stop and breathe. I realise that to look away from one's eyes in this moment is suppression/me not allowing myself to face my fears/beliefs/judgments. And thus I commit myself to continue looking at one in the eyes. I commit myself to only look away from one's eyes when I see that it is necessary to do so.