Friday, 15 May 2015

Day 430 - Race

Something that I've noticed within myself, when in the presence of someone in particular who has black skin - I've seen how when I talk to them about past relationships and such, I almost always ask about whether they were white/black/Asian and so on. And not just in relation to relationships, just generally, if they and I are speaking about others, I like to know what their background is. This person the other day asked me "Why? Why does it matter?" And it made me realise that it does not matter. No, it doesn't matter where one is born/what their background is/the colour of their skin - not at all. And so, why do I want to know then?

And why do I only bring up the background of another when talking to another who does not have white skin? I see this as a problem within my programming. I see it as separation. For one, I don't care if someone is whatever they are, I don't care where they are from - yet I see that I'm still talking to this person from the starting point of separation, I see no other reason as to why I care if their relationships involve someone who is white/black or whatever. It's separation, as in..well, I'm treating this person differently, because of the colour of their skin. I'm not 'intending' to be racist or anything, but I just somewhat 'unwillingly' ask about these relationships regarding one's origins.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ask questions about another who has different coloured skin to me, about their past relationships in regards to the background of those people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to 'want' to know about another's past relationships and where they are from etc, based on seeing this person as 'different' to me based purely on skin colour.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to treat another differently to 'what I'm used to seeing' in terms of usually seeing white people, as opposed to black people - and within this, participating within separation when asking another different questions in comparison to what I'd ask the 'usual' people that I see.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to know the background etc of one for no apparent reason at all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to care and potentially come to conclusions within my mind based on the answer I receive as to one's background etc.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place others in categories differing dependent on the colour of their skin.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become 'used to' being/seeing one particular race, and within this, thus seeing other races and treating other races differently just because I'm 'not used' to being/seeing them - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use this as an excuse as to why I treat/possibly treat different races differently - there is NO excuse/reason to treat ANYONE/ANYTHING differently, no matter what.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define another based on the colour of their skin.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing race to be the starting point within my mind of whether I treat another a certain way or not.

When and as I see myself treating another differently based upon a starting point within my mind of the colour of one's skin, I stop and breathe. I realise that it is NEVER okay to treat another differently in ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM based on something as MEANINGLESS as the colour of one's skin. I realise that the colour of one's skin ONLY shows the origins of one - THAT IS ALL - anything else is BULLSHIT MIND PROGRAMMING and BRAINWASHING - which equates and manifests itself as RACISM and VIOLENCE and DEATH - these must be abolished. I commit myself to NOT live/participate within and as SEPARATION and seeing/treating another differently based upon their race. I commit myself to see my fellow human as another compatriot in this world that them and myself live on. I commit myself to see my fellow human as identical to me, as they are, apart from their origins which are shown and manifest themselves via the colour of one's skin. I commit myself to see a human physical body, and see the bones and the organs and the blood underneath the skin.

I commit myself to NOT allow any type of separation bullshit within my mind in regards to race.

When and as I see myself being 'accustomed' to being with/seeing ONE type of race and within this, then treating others that 'I'm not used to' DIFFERENTLY, I STOP AND BREATHE. I realise that this is simply NOT ON. And I realise that the allowance of this is the allowance of myself to exist as a programmed life who does NOT CONSIDER WHAT IS BEST FOR ALL. I realise that ANY SINGLE LITTLE THING/WAY that I treat another based upon their race is PURE SEPARATION and the PROOF that I am STILL a programmed being conforming to my programming and within brainwashing. And thus, I commit myself to WORK on this area of myself in relation to ALL races/colours/origins - and to LOOK AT and be aware of ANY SINGLE TIME that I am/am about to treat another differently than I would when compared to treating what I'm 'used to' and to within this, STOP MYSELF from saying/doing something otherwise, as to be able to learn/change myself into what is best for all, regardless in every way, shape and form as to one's race.

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  1. Interesting blog. The reaction described here, where one would see one's own race as the 'norm' is defined as 'unmarked categories' in sociological feminist theory, where we will pr. definition see our own kind (or a ruling/hegemonic) kind of people as 'THE NORM' - which automatically leaves everyone else 'marked' as different or 'strange' or 'NOT LIKE US'. So the unmarked, usually the hegemonic group (like 'whites' in this example) will not notice that they are seeing themselves as unmarked, which is why it can for example be difficult for them to consider things from the perspective of someone who is not white - because they take their position for granted as THE position. It will take its own position for granted, like a blind spot. It is an important part of our inner psychology to become aware of, because when we start stopping it on an individual level, we can also start stopping it in society as a whole. It is a key to establishing equality as a real substantial living principle.

    1. Awesome! Really cool Anna. Thank you for this. Yes, this definitely makes sense, and I can definitely see this within myself. Really interesting stuff.