Saturday, 16 May 2015

Day 431 - Asking for assistance/clarification


Fear of looking 'stupid'. I fear asking for assistance/clarification about things, because I fear looking 'stupid'. I believe in this context, a 'stupid' person to be someone who does not understand something, and therefore, requires assistance/clarification. I was thinking of one moment in particular where I have not asked for assistance/clarification, because of a fear of looking 'stupid' - but now that I think about it, there are many times where I have ignored asking for assistance/clarification.

And also, the times that I DO ask for assistance/clarification, I judge myself as being stupid. And to avoid this self-judgment, I just basically HOPE that I understood something/someone - which is NOT ideal, at all. It reminds me of some job training that I did in the last week - where someone told me to not be scared to ask questions. I remember hearing this advice a lot throughout my life actually. And it definitely makes sense. It's best to KNOW for sure about how to do something/what to do about something, rather than have an 'inkling' of an idea, and do it incorrectly, and cause consequences and such. Now which method looks 'stupid'?

So, it's definitely best for me to ask questions, and within this assistance/clarification - from here on out, I'll just refer to these words as 'assistance'. They all fall under the assistance field as far as I know.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear asking another for assistance, because I participate within the belief that one that asks for assistance is 'stupid'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I'm 'stupid' for not understanding something in the first place, as in, when it was told to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame/judge myself for the moments when I don't understand another correctly, realising that it does not instantly mean that I for instance am not aware in the moment, because I realise/remember moments whereas I could not understand someone, because I was not 'familiar' with one's accent - and also, at times one does not explain things efficiently for me to understand it the first time. Not to go into blame, but just not to instantly blame self for not understanding something instantly. I commit myself to see, realise and understand where/why I did not understand something efficiently the first time, to prevent it happening again.

When and as I see myself believing that it is 'stupid' for one to seek assistance in regards to something that they are not quite sure of, I stop and breathe. I realise that it's always best to be absolutely sure of something, to thus do it correctly/efficiently, and to avoid consequences. Within this, I realise that consequences are in fact MORE likely to occur if one does NOT seek assistance, and instead, basically does something/heeds words without the faintest idea of how to do something. And so, I commit myself to AVOID potential consequences and/or lessen the consequences dramatically and within this, assist and support myself/others, by seeking assistance about things that I am not sure of - because this practically assists all, and possibly others who are perhaps fearful of seeking assistance, as I have been - because of beliefs that one will look 'stupid' if they seek further assistance and/or do not understand something instantly. And within this, I commit myself to be a voice of reason so to speak, in giving others that 'perspective' that it's cool to seek further advice about things, and to show others that it does not make one look 'stupid' whatsoever, unless they believe that to be the case.

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