Friday, 22 May 2015
Day 436 - The urge to scratch
Right now, I am dealing with a pretty substantial bout of eczema. I have had it my whole life, but as of a year ago, it was basically GONE. Only recently has it returned. I mean, I've never totally gotten rid of it, but been close. Apart from figuring out the triggers in terms of food/liquids which is obviously vital to stop the eczema from reemerging and growing, here I want to forgive myself for scratching when I get that urge to scratch my eczema. It's a decision that I will make to stop. I have done it before within awareness, but I don't consistently stop each time I have the urge to scratch the eczema, and make it bleed/grow.
So I see this as a good step to take in terms of at least stopping the already existence eczema to stop growing and such.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to scratch my eczema as soon as I feel an urge to do so.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into these urges to scratch, and within this, feel the consequences soon after/later through pain and bleeding.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realise and understand that I can make a direct decision to NOT scratch the eczema, thus stopping the pain/bleeding, which is vital for my recovery/deleting the eczema.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be aware EACH and EVERY time that I do/want to scratch the eczema, instead, just doing it automatically, like it's a natural/normal automated action to do. Within this, I see that this action is programmed within and as myself, as I've been scratching eczema/giving into the urge to scratch the eczema since childhood.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within my mind and thus the urge to scratch the eczema, as within the belief that scratching the eczema will manifest a sense of relief within and as myself - when in reality, each time I have proven this to not be the case, as no good ever has come from scratching the eczema, other than SUPER temporary relieve, and then pain/bleeding which of course does not assist my physical body whatsoever.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing eczema to grow upon me and damage my physical body, through my own acceptances and allowances within giving into temptation within my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see my physical body, and the large amounts of eczema that are on my physical body, and wonder how it got there/got that bad in the first place? Within this, I fail to realise that is ALL down to me, the scratching that I perform to make the eczema this way - it is nobody else's fault/responsibility as to why/how the eczema got as bad as it has.
When and as I see the eczema on my physical body, and seeing it within disgust, I stop and breathe. I realise that this eczema is existent through my own doing, and so I commit myself to use this seeing of the eczema on my physical body as a type of incentive to STOP the growth/allowance within urge to scratch and increase the eczema.
When and as I see myself desiring to give into the urge within my mind to scratch the eczema that is on my physical body, I stop and breathe. I realise that going any further and manifesting the scratching technique/action upon my eczema is the allowance and the giving into the urge/power within my mind to continue/increase the damage within eczema that is already existent upon my physical body. And so, I commit myself to assist the health and relief of/within and as my physical body, through STOPPING any motions that exist from the starting point of relief of the urge to scratch the eczema. I commit myself to not long for that temporary relief, which is in essence, similar to that of drinking to feel more 'confident' or smoking to feel more 'relaxed' - they are but temporary actions of relief, but all have long-lasting health effects that do not assist the physical body, therefore must be stopped and DELETED.