Monday, 15 June 2015
Day 446 - Leader
I've always feared being a/the leader of something/anything. In terms of responsibility, I see the point of being a leader as having TOO much responsibility - and within this, it being MY fault if anything goes wrong. Another point I see within my fear of leading/being a leader, is being the 'boss' of people/things. And these fears of being seen as 'bossy' and such. Even though really, that is my responsibility as a leader of sorts.
Too much responsibility.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I were to be a leader, the amount of responsibility on my shoulders would be 'too much' and I would crumble and the weight of said responsibility and/or pressure that could come from this responsibility.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to avoid leadership roles in any way, shape or form within my life, because the responsibility factor seemed 'too much'.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realise that being a leader entails/can entail making 'mistakes' because within being a leader, a lot of the time, the leader must take 'risks' for instance, to improve one's business, or to improve customer satisfaction regarding a company's product.
Although, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realise that within being a leader, I can assist a company/others/myself in working towards a unified goal that in actuality, ALL do agree on. I realise that within being a leader, although the final word may belong to me so to speak, leaders can work in all different types of scenarios, and within myself being a leader, I could and would create/assist with ideas and such with others/my employees, as to get the best outcome.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not capable of making 'the big decisions' whatsoever, and in turn, participating within future projections of me making big decisions under pressure and in turn, making the WRONG decision.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realise that until I truly put myself in the shoes of BEING a leader, I can't be making these future projections within my mind of sorts, because I don't truly know what it is like to be the leader, and also, future projections within a fear of being a leader does not assist me whatsoever.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fail to realise/remember that I have the tools of Desteni within my own practical/physical application to CHANGE how I see 'pressure' and how I relate to 'pressure' and have already proven to myself that I CAN work well under apparent 'pressure' and that I can in fact delete pressure in situations where pressure would 'normally' exist.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realise that pressure only exists if I ALLOW it to exist and allow myself to participate within and as pressure in my mind.
More to follow.