Thursday, 2 July 2015

Day 453 - The correct path

Right now I am in the middle of choosing what to do/what not to do as to further my chances/shot at getting a job and such. It's not exactly as simple as doing a course and getting a job, because I am limited in the amount of government funded courses that I can commence and at what level of course I can commence. What I'm saying is that there are a lot of factors regarding how I move forward. These, coupled with other factors, such as my current volunteer work and whether the courses will impact that if they were to be on the same day/time, things like that I must look at too.

I am fearing that I will not choose the 'correct' path. I believe there to be one path, or another path - basically, a wrong path and a right path, an incorrect path and a correct path. But it's not that black and white. There are many paths, within paths, within those paths. It's cool in a way, because I have all of these paths/opportunities, so taking that into consideration, it's simply about investigating all paths/each path, and then coming to a conclusion as to which path suits me best for one reason or another.

Like all things within life, it's about investigation. I did always fancy being an investigator..
And I am one, within my own life, and within society - always, always investigating, learning...learning about things, whether the conclusion is a 'good' one or a 'bad' one within the scheme of things. Self-investigation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that paths are as black and white as a correct path and an incorrect path.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to constantly question myself over whether I am making the correct choice/choosing the correct path or not.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realise and understand that it is mandatory for me to investigate ALL things within life/society in general, as to see what is the best route in this sense, as it is for all things within life/society/how I function and so on, investigation is necessary as can be.

Within this, I see, realise and understand that the reason for my fearing of the path that I choose and whether I am choosing a 'right' path or not, is because of my lack of investigation thus far - I've not investigated nearly enough about the courses that I can do and where they will get me, so I commit myself to TAKE the initiative and the self-responsibility and to do what I must do to find out all that I can before signing up for a course/signing up for anything, and doing anything as a matter of fact, I must take into account all factors/points of view/angles and so on.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not use my mind as a 'sign' or a signal or a reference point as to why this fear is existent within and as me when it comes to choosing the 'correct' path. Because again, I see, realise and understand that if  I had done the proper research/investigation of all paths or at least, most paths, I'd be more STABLE when it comes to making an INFORMED decision as to the best path for myself to take/commence.

So, I commit myself to do my research/investigating with what I can do myself, and also use other assistance means, such as calling/emailing or whatever must be done, because that is the BEST way to move forward and/or to choose a path that SUITS me best.

I commit myself to not desire to/and or choose a path WITHOUT investigating the path and/or other paths FULLY/enough as to again, be able to make an informed decision that truly benefits me.

When and as I see myself being in the midst of a fear of choosing the 'incorrect' path, I stop and breathe. I realise that this is the REFERENCE point I need that I really have not done the research/investigation to begin with, and so I commit myself to use my mind as a means of saying to myself that more investigation must be done on these paths and where they lead to. Obviously, if the fear STILL exists even after proper research/investigation, then that is another point to tackle, but to leave that until/if it ever appears.

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