Tuesday, 7 July 2015

Day 454 - The way I move



This is Self-forgiveness/self-correction/self-commitment statements on this fear energy about the way I move, the way I walk, the way I move my arms when walking. Along with writing about a memory of Person A saying that the way in which I moved my arms when walking was unnatural/stiff/weird.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the way I ‘move’ is unnatural in comparison to the way others move.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto and participate within and as, a memory of Person A telling me that I should keep my hands in my pockets, because the way I move my arms is unnatural/robotic/stiff.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that no mind is required to move my arms ‘naturally’ – because the natural movement is just that, natural, and so physical.

So, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be focused exclusively on my arms and the way they move, judging them for not going as far up/as far down as I BELIEVE they should.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not simply WALK within and as my physical body, and allow my physical body to do the rest within doing what’s best for my physical body in terms of efficiency.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use my body’s movements/lack thereof/judgments thereof, as an excuse to NOT go into public viewing/public situations, which is obviously a NECESSITY to survive/to keep myself in peak shake for all things within my life.

When and as I see myself wanting to walk, but NOT physically walking outside of my room/house to WALK, because I fear what others will THINK of my body’s movements out in public and/or when walking, I stop and breathe. I realise that because I’ve placed so much importance onto the way my physical body moves when walking, within fear energy and so on, I’ve allowed that to dictate and direct what I PHYSICALLY do/do not do, and in this case, I allow this fear energy to direct me into NOT going into public sectors, and instead choosing to stay AWAY from others’ eyes, which ONLY equates to showing that I am being directed by my mind, which is a major loss in itself. And so, I commit myself to have these wants to walk, because I know the beneficial aspect of doing so and/or these wants to simply go into public areas, whatever the reason, and to when these backchats of ‘others judging me and my movements’ appear, to STOP physically, to BREATHE physically, and to CONTINUE walking outside of my room, whilst still breathing if needed, and to WALK outside of my door, TO KEEP WALKING, to keep DOING, to keep MOVING toward my desired destination, breathing whenever needed, and NEVER turning back and NEVER even SLIGHTLY participating within backchats of going back for the reasons of fear energy judgments/believes that others are saying/directing at me, because in reality, I know this to be a myth and ONLY a judgments/belief that I have of myself/my own movements.


When and as I see myself bringing up memories of Person A telling me to keep my hands in my pockets, because the way I move my arms is unnatural/stiff/weird, I stop and breathe. I realise that AT THAT TIME in my life, I was very anxiety ridden within mind disease which I manifested as my physical body, and I see that I do still live slight tendencies of this behaviour/mind disease now, it’s only NOW that I am tackling them and CHANGING my starting point of them. I commit myself to not allow the memory of Person A telling me that my arms are unnatural/stiff/weird when walking to dictate that very movement that ASSISTS my physical body into moving correct/with the most efficiency possible. I commit myself to walk/move my arms within and as a physical state/body, because that comes naturally to ME/my physical body, to move my physical body to its utmost efficiency/reliability.

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