Friday, 31 July 2015
Day 464 - Moment by moment, case by case
I have these tendencies to do something that I do regularly, and to each time I do it, do it the EXACT same way every time. And some of these tendencies intertwine depending on the thing that it is that I'm doing. And I've seen this and these tendencies to be a hindrance. I see that it is really best to take every thing I do, moment by moment, case by case. And to simply act accordingly, dependent on what is happening in the moment. Here is an example of the top of my head. Brushing my teeth. I could have the tendency for example, to brush from left to right, or, top to bottom, and/or for 3 minutes minimum, etc.
BUT, what I see is best, again, according to the teeth brushing example, is to be self-honest. Like, not to go overboard and within obsession within my mind in terms of obsessing about how long to brush my teeth and so on, but more like, just quickly asking myself "Okay, what have I eaten today?" And from that, I can be like "Only fruit/vegetables." Lol, and so possibly not brush my teeth for as long. And like the opposite polarity is heavy sugars like lollies/candy/chocolate, then it's like "Okay, NOW I require some thorough and lengthy teeth brushing to remove those sugars." Things like that. That is what I'm getting at in terms of tendencies/patterns of doing the same thing each and every time, and within this, not actually taking the moment/case for what it is, and acting within the moment, dependent on what I have ahead of me, what I've done before, what I'm doing at the time.
Because, before, I have for instance just done something one way. And then, later on I think to myself "Wait a minute, I did NOT do that particular thing the way I 'usually do it' within tendency." And then I sort of freak out. Like "Shit, I didn't do what I normally do, now maybe that will impact on whatever it is that I did, minus the usual tendency/pattern within how I USUALLY do that particular thing." But also, I see for myself, that I act instinctively so to speak. I see that it's a very fast moment when I do act. I say within instinct, because it's just a really fast movement. So, I see what it is I want/have to do, and I just ACT at that very moment. It's only the times when I LATER look back at the moment and fear that I've messed up a 'routine' all because I didn't APPLY the particular/usual/standard/normal tendency/pattern/movement that I USUALLY apply in that given situation.
So again, it's best to take each moment/case.......moment by moment and case by case, purely dependent on the context/situation at hand in the VERY moment.
More to come.