Friday, 7 August 2015

Day 467 - Jealousy part 2


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have an inability to speak to women comfortably, as I can do with men.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that women are completely different to men.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have to be a 'different' person and/or personality within my mind dependent on whether I'm talking to a man or a woman.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this 'love' construct to get in the way of me simply talking to a woman, as I do so with a man, and within this, believing that I have to meet these 'expectations' of 'satisfying' a woman via my behaviours/speech and my general demeanor, and allowing this to in fact prove to be a blockage/obstacle, because I attempt to meet all these pre-programmed patterns via society standards and self-creation of my own doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to when speaking to a woman that I see as a potential 'candidate' as a partner, 'lose my cool/self' and again, allow this love construct to take over whereas I am NOT talking to her purely for conversation sake and to learn/grow, BUT, am instead talking to her to see whether we are compatible in terms of a relationship/partnership - so I see, realise and understand that this starting point of talking to some women for the sake of relationship/partnership compatibility is what leads me 'off track' and what leads me into the programmed construct of 'love' and 'lust' and wanting to impress and so on.

So, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to constantly be 'on the lookout' for a partner and within this, lose my sense of stability and lose my sense of who I am as a physical being/body when/whilst talking to a woman.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to 'chase' a relationship/partnership.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I will 'lose my chance' if I am to simply 'be myself' meaning, be a stable individual who is evidently 'not in it' for the relationship/partnership construct.

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