Monday, 31 August 2015
Day 479 - Lack of contribution
My lack of contribution to Desteni is irritating me! Here I'm talking mainly about the blogs, the Journey to Life blogs, and/or any writings, really. Whatever it is too though, videos. I usually have these spells of NOT publishing anything publicly. I mean, the times when it's just because I'm away from a viable means of writing/publishing online, then fine, but when I have the means available to me, and I DO NOT publish publicly, because I still see my blogs as 'pointless' and 'not helpful' to others, then yeah. That is what I do. Just before writing what I'm writing here, I wrote a blog. It was about hobbies. It was about how I wanted to incorporate more hobbies/things to do in my daily life. I've already deleted it. There was no Self-forgiveness etc included, and I saw it more as a 'personal' type of writing. Not because there were things that I see could compromise my position, but again, because I just saw it as not helpful for anyone but myself.
I have to stop these judgments. Because me writing this here, I WANT to publish ALL of my stuff online for all to see, I genuinely want to contribute to Desteni in any way I can, even if it is just a 'writing' and just for me to lay things out to see something more clearly. That doesn't mean that others can't read it and think the same/apply it to themselves, of course not. And even if nobody does find it helpful/uses it to their 'advantage' it doesn't matter. Any blog is still related to Desteni, all of these writings are associated with Desteni. I'm not just writing it for the sake of it.
So, I have written about this before, where I did see/notice that a lot of stuff I didn't publicly post, because I saw them as pointless and so on. Anyway, more self-forgiveness etc on this matter, because I'm not even sure that I DID write self-forgiveness etc in the first place..
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not contribute as much as I can in regards to all things Desteni.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stop myself from making things associated with Desteni public, because I judge them within my mind as pointless and not helpful to anyone except myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realise and understand that every 'piece' helps in regards to online publishing, because despite the subject matter/it not including self-forgiveness for instance, it can still be SEEN by someone, which in turn STILL peaks their interest, where they can then investigate why this writing has been..written, and what the source is, and, lead them to Desteni, and so the +1 formula continues.
I commit myself to ONLY NOT publish something online IF it is truly something that can/will compromise myself/others/my situation.
Therefore, I commit myself to publicly publish the BULK/MAJORITY of things that I do in regards to Desteni, no matter how it reads/what it is, if I see it as 'not good enough/as other writings' etc - because as I stated, ALL things help.
When and as I see myself believing my work/piece in regards to Desteni to not be of a high enough standard, I stop and breathe. I realise that those 'high enough standards' are strictly limited to MYSELF/MY MIND and it is NOT limited to the perspective of others. So, I commit myself to quit judging my stuff in relation to Desteni, and to just fucking post it for all to see. I commit myself to see, realise and understand that each time I make something public WITHOUT participating within backchats/thoughts about the 'quality' of the work/piece, I'll grow within the movement/ability to then and from then on, publish what I do with no questions asked.
I commit myself to see, realise and understand that each individual within their process is at their OWN stage in their process, and there are millions of factors that dictate where one is at in their process, such as their upbringing and the dimensions associated with family/friends etc, and well, all dimensions within one's life, and despite the common dimensions at times, each individual still very much is situated in a very unique process. So, because of this, I commit myself to stop comparing myself/my pieces/work/stuff to others' and their pieces/work/stuff, because we're all very much in our own individual process.