Thursday, 3 September 2015

Day 481 - Can I not communicate to non-Destonians anymore?


I've had these beliefs that I will/am/do struggle to communicate with non-Destonians, because of what I've learnt within Desteni.
Some reasons I believe this to be are..
1. Most topics that people discuss are those that 'do not interest me'.
2. I'm more and more becoming aware of how much that is said is a judgment, attack, opinion and so on, like, the majority is.
3. I believe that as a physical being, I cannot say things that are judgmental/opinionated, and I believe that actually BECAUSE of my lack of judgmental/opinionated/emotional/reactive 'substances' inside of myself, that I as a purely (getting there) physical being/body just cannot um...'relate' to non-Destonians as much/at all, because the energy is non-existent for me. Prior, it'd be energy playing on energy, judgments on judgments, whether the judgments were agreed on or different, the energy would be there, and I see that THAT was a 'reason' to engage within conversation.

So, here I'm really just focusing and meaning to focus on this third part (3). This is the part I have the most beliefs about and/or need to write about.
You know, it's like someone going on about their beliefs (many hints of truth to this..) and I am there, well, listening to this, I find it somewhat interesting, even though I in fact do not agree/believe this to be the case. But, in this case..I am not going to say "You're wrong, I'm right, and here's why.." Because that is just answering back through energy. And it'd only cause anger, friction, debate.

But, it's something I guess I need to work on, this communicating without judgment and so on. Is it possible, like, can I actually communicate with a non-Destonian who unknowingly judges/reacts within just about everything they say? It is possible, but it's not the 'same'. Again, because for me, on my side/half, the energy is not apparent, it does not exist. So, rather than responding either in a judgmental way of my own, or..arguing against the point, or agreeing, you know, it is all energectic, UNLESS it is genuinely something I for instance agree on, like, 'unemployment is a joke' lol. That is fact :P but yeah, what I'm saying and have noticed is still, that a lot of what people say is energy based, the majority truly is.

I know I'm repeating myself here lol, but it helps me dissect this. So yeah..
So, if one is really talking through/within/as energy, me being a physical being/body, being HERE, I can/would 'ideally' respond with an answer that is best for all, within this, seeing from others' perspectives and so on - also, I would dissolve the judgment/energy, again really, because/for the response of what is best for all.

SOO. Let's try to get to the point here! The communication doesn't 'flow' as it USED TO, with LACK and/or NON-EXISTENT energy on my behalf. And..even though I am like, aware of this, and why this is, it makes it difficult I believe, because obviously I live with almost ALL humans as being non-Destonians, there is no getting around that FACT. Yes, when the change happens, when the Destonians become more in number, then COOL, but right now, it is just not so. And yeah, I see that people expect/want this 'flow' of energy between themselves and another (me). For the most part at least. And I can't give them that, what I CAN give them is something different, totally different, a person who is physically here, physical body/self, who always comes from/within and as a response/statement of what is best for all - I reckon it takes them a while to accept/admit to this change, like to see that it is actually 'cool' and not 'weird' lol.

Anyway, this is just what I see.
But, nonetheless, I am still IN the system, and will be for a long time to come. So, I have to 'make do' with what is HERE, even though what is HERE is not 'picture perfect' far from it. Everything is utterly fucked up, and I have had these somewhat..thoughts of like, not wanting to be here, leaving. Not really leaving, just not wanting to be here, because of the way humans are, how their minds are, how the mind in itself is. But, it's my duty as one who knows, to be an example, a leader, to teach others, to bring awareness, if I/others don't, then nobody will, and we'll be stuck in this shit existence forever - fuck no.

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