Friday, 4 September 2015

Day 482 - Prioritising myself

My own self change must be priority/paramount. That is the key. Yet, despite me knowing that change is necessary and it has to happen sooner rather than later on some points, I still allow other things to get in the way, and instead choose to prioritise them over myself, over the physical body that I am in, the change – because these all go hand in hand, really, myself/body/self-change. It starts with each, self-responsibility is paramount.

If I don’t prioritise myself, my self-change, then I simply halt myself/my process, and that always leads to failure from what I’ve seen. Change has to be a constant, well, it SHOULD be a constant. Being stuck in one place, even for a short amount of time – it’s just not helpful. It’s ‘easy’ to fall victim to this though. I’ve felt this before, where I just ‘don’t want to do anything’. I just want to laze around. I don’t want to put in effort, the work – and of course, the effort/work is necessary for the change to happen. And, in those split moments/decisions, plenty can happen, because of one’s failure to prioritise self – so it is vital to push against that resistance that one feels, because as always also that I’ve noticed, when I do get down to business in terms of writing for example, it’s easy. That’s another example of how the mind does all it can to stop self from breaking down its walls of resistance.

NOTHING matters more than oneself, and self’s change. The more thorough/faster the change, the sooner we can BE life and what it means to exist within and as life for real.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fail to prioritise myself/my own self-change over ANYTHING else that i ‘desire’ to do/choose/want to do in the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that myself/my self-change is paramount to realisations/growth/life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that literally nothing else can assist/support me in life other than what I do within my process of change, such as writing/DIP Pro.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to prioritise other things, because I believe them to be more ‘fun’ or more ‘enjoyable’ – when in reality, that fun/enjoyment is only ever temporary/short-lived, whereas actual change is real/life-lasting/key.

I commit myself to dedicate myself first and foremost to my process, my process of self-change/self-awakening/life.

When and as I see myself in a moment of ‘juggling’ things/what I should do outside of ‘process’ – I stop and breathe. I realise that there’s no genuine/real reason/point in deciding what to do ‘next’ – as it should just flow. And I realise that those things not related to process are really of ‘no huge consequence’ because for the most part, they are just things to bide my time and such. So I commit myself to honestly look at what will actually assist/support myself in each given moment, and to DO IT. I commit myself to always prioritise all things Desteni, because again, that is my means of self-change and my means of life – the rest is just ‘other’ stuff.

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