Saturday, 12 September 2015

Day 488 - Weather justifies my mood


I had almost forgotten what it was like to be in the nice and warm sun. Finally, 2 days ago, the sun was out, and it was nice and warm. Previously and for a long time prior to this day, it had been very cold, raining and/or a combination of both of those. With very little sun. I saw what the weather was going to be the day prior, so wore a t-shirt only, which I hadn't done for a while. IT WAS SO NICE OUTSIDE. I loved it, the whole day. Anyway - I felt 'upbeat' within myself about the weather, well, about the sun, the warm weather. It was like "This will be a good day, for sure."

I went to work, and when I got there, I realised that this sunny-ness/warmness was dictating what I do/how I am in the moment - because, if this was the same day, except it was cold and/or raining, I wouldn't 'feel' upbeat, I wouldn't feel this sort of glowing sensation. I didn't like this, I didn't like how I was allowing the weather to dictate how I'd 'be' for that day. Sun, no sun, cold, warm, rain etc/whatever, that should NEVER define/dictate me and/or what I do/how I do things - of course not.

And so..

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go about every facet of my life dependent on the conditions of the weather and whether it shines, rains, is cold/hot and so on.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach these 'happy' feelings to warmth and warm weather, sun, t-shirts/shorts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach this 'casual' feeling/occasion to warmth/sun. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as memories of being at the beach in sunny/hot conditions, and wearing very little clothing, and participating within the memory of the total relaxation/ability to not have a 'care' in the world.

When and as I see myself participating within and as memories of the beach and occasions that included sun/warmth/t-shirts/shorts when I am in the moment/situation of warmth/sun, I stop and breathe. I realise that I've attached these 'feel good' energies to warmth/sun, and days at the beach - and so when some of these memories/instances occur within myself through memory/attachment, I 'feel' and 'live' these energies through positive body language, happy feelings. So, I commit myself to not participate within and as these memories/happy feelings of warmth/beaches in the past when and as I am in/encounter warm weather/sun in the present and future. I commit myself to go about my daily life within and as the moment in every breath I take and simply do/live as what is best for all, no matter the weather, sun/rain/cold/warmth - because these are of course not my decision to make, this is nature's decision/choice, this is what nature chooses - and I live in nature.

I commit myself to embrace whatever weather is ahead/in the moment, and to not use it in any way, shape or form to dictate/define who I am in that moment.

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