Thursday, 17 September 2015

Day 493 - Approaching something 'extensive'

I have this urge within myself to NOT approach anything that I see is extensive, like, will take a long time to sift through, to read, to watch, listen and so on. It's like, just the 'knowledge' and 'knowing' that this thing is extensive, it's like, "Uh, it's gonna take me forever to check this all out in its entirety." Like, the very act of doing it will be a bore, tedious - too long. I also see here that it has to do with this desire to do things fast, to start it, then end it, ASAP. This is what I 'like'. To get it over and done with asap, with ease. And anything that is 'extensive' goes against that.

Something that is extensive will take me undoubtedly a long time to go through, to reach the 'end'. But, it's NOT getting to the end that should be the WHY as to me doing something/starting something that is extensive in length/coverage. It's exactly like this Journey to Life. YES, the end result in itself is one of awesome-ness, being the absolute definition of life, what life should be - but the PROCESS from start, middle and ongoing...every single step is a change, even if it doesn't become apparent at the time. So, the journey of anything is what counts. The end point is cool in itself, but the journey IS what counts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to shy away from approaching/starting anything that I see/believe to be 'extensive' in length/coverage, because I'm ONLY interested within my mind of FINISHING the journey/getting to the end of the journey, instead of seeing that the things that I learn/gain/experience as soon as I CHOOSE to start the journey, whatever it is, IS what actually counts/assists me - getting to the end is MERELY a sense of 'achievement' and 'success' that I've participated within and as.

So, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to approach anything from the starting point of the desire of achievement/success ONLY.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not give myself the enjoyment/experience within every journey that I take, so that I can then truly learn from it, WITHOUT just wanting to reach the end asap and in doing so, not concentrate and be aware of the journey that I've undertaken.

When and as I see myself approaching anything purely just to END IT, I stop and breathe. I realise that through having the starting point of the desire to end something/finish something, is to IGNORE the journey from start to finish of whatever it is that I choose to undertake, and within ignorance, comes myself failing to 'take in' the information and failing to experience/learn within the given moment of the journey in itself - and not being in the moment within the journey within having the desire within my mind of 'getting to the end' is simply the incorrect way of approaching any journey. So, I commit myself to approach anything that I do, whether extensive or not, with the starting point of LEARNING, ENJOYING and EXPERIENCING - and so NOT with the starting point of reaching the end, getting to the end - because this is why I don't want to actually undertake the journey in itself of something extensive, because that 'end' is so far out of reach - but the end is not what counts, it's the journey.

When and as I see myself wanting to experience achievement/success within my mind after finishing/getting to the end of something, I stop and breathe. I realise that REAL/TRUE achievement/success does NOT come from simply 'reaching' the end of something, real/true and actual achievement/success, physical achievement/success comes from taking each step within the journey, here, in the moment, as to experience/learn/develop from every single step, because the more aware I am within every moment, the more I take in, the better I'll be. So, I commit myself to focus on the moment, the here, within every step of the journey of whatever operation I undertake, and to get the most from each moment through the awareness in any given moment, not 'worrying' or being 'focused' upon getting it 'over and done with' - ending it/finishing it asap.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach a feel good feeling/sensation within achievement/success within my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to constantly long/desire for this feel good feeling/sensation through always wanting achievement/success through completing tasks asap.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fail to see, realise and understand that REAL achievement/success is actual change/learning that I see is actually real within myself - and 'experiences' within my mind of achievement/success are purely energy based and positive energy based within happiness/feel good feelings.

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