Wednesday, 23 September 2015
Day 497 - Meeting the partner's parents
I've been checking out this online dating website. To see if I can meet people with similar interests/perspectives and things like that, not necessarily for dating, just to hang out etc. Anyway, it dawned on me the possibility of actually finding someone, and then them and I becoming an item, and then the most daunting, within my mind part, the meeting of that person's parents lol. And then like, "Will her parents accept me?" "Will they like me?" "Do they see me as the right fit for their daughter?" Things like that.
And this has been programmed within me, this sort of fear around this meeting. I've seen it in movies, tv shows, seen stories, and so on. And it all contributes towards this fear of actually doing this - meeting the partner's parents. In movies/tv shows, it's really usually over-exaggerated a whole lot. And things always go wrong. Nonetheless, it's still gotten to me, and I fear this actually happening, because I've never been in the position of meeting another's parents when in a relationship/agreement/partnership.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing scenes/examples of the meeting of another's parents to grip me within a fear of the actual act taking place for myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the scenes/examples that I've seen/heard of in regards to meeting of another's parents ARE or WILL be the exact thing to happen when I myself meet another's parents/if I do meet another's parents with the starting point of a relationship/agreement beforehand.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that during the process of meeting another's parents, that I will be analysed thoroughly for the conclusion to exist of either being 'right' or 'wrong' for the parents' daughter.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to when and as I see people's profiles online and seeing that they are 'very family-orientated' - participate within a fear of the expectations of a parent, all based on scenes/examples of these encounters going incredibly 'badly' within the parents hating the person/and/or embarrassment ensuing and so on.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing memories of the 'big meet' within my mind come up, and manifest this fear through not wanting to meet these people based on their strong family ties and so on.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that meeting a partner's parents IS a 'big meet' or a 'big deal' in any way, shape or form.
So, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realise and understand that meeting a partner's parents is the exact same as meeting anyone else, there are NO expectations to meet (apart from my own self-created expectations) and there are NO specific 'ways' to act/be, again to meet expectations of some sort/way.
When and as I see myself participating within the belief that meeting of a partner's parents is a DAUNTING task in every way, shape and form, I stop and breathe. I realise that through memories within past scenes/examples of the meeting of a partner's parents, I've come to the self-created 'truth' that the whole meeting of a partner's parents act to be one of disaster, of embarrassment, of humiliation, of failure. I commit myself to see, realise and understand that none of these beliefs I have of meeting a partner's parents ring true in any way, shape or form, I have simply allowed scenes/examples within memories to come up within my present self/being, and have allowed the resonance to be so strong within me, that any 'family-ties' I see within a person immediately 'put me off' out of fear of a potential meeting of the parents and the 'bad' beliefs I have of this meeting actually taking place for myself.
So, I commit myself when/if the opportunity arises to meet a partner's parents, to go into the moment with none of these FAKE and pointless memories of the fuck-ups of meeting one's parents. Meeting anyone, whoever they are, is simply a point of getting to know them/exchanging words - that's it.