Monday, 28 September 2015

Day 498 - Living versus presenting ‘stability’ as self


I’ve seen this within myself with a lot that I do, that instead of LIVING stability as myself in all facets/ways/shapes/forms, I merely ‘attempt’ to present stability. What a mistake that is, to present stability instead of living stability. Presenting and wanting to present something that I see is a ‘good’ quality/needed quality is NOT the same as LIVING it. It shouldn’t even come into question/cross my mind, whether I am ‘being’ stable within and as myself or not, because stability just exists, I simply know whether I am or am not living this stability. So already, the fact that I merely WANT to show this stability, it’s not real-life/living expression stability, it’s still an external desire of mine.

Because, through living stability, it is simply there, it is simply existent. Then from that living expression, there is no need to have this desire/urge to ‘show’ this. If one lives stability, it shows itself. It’s a natural expression of self. It’s the same as anything, not only stability. Being comfortable, it simple IS. One either lives it, or does not live it. It’s actually rather basic that way, but basic is the best way to see whether it’s real life or bullshit/and/or putting on a show so to speak.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to present an IMAGE of ‘stability’ as myself to others, instead of LIVING stability within and as myself, within my true expression.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to always within my mind, desire to show/prove this stability within and as myself, instead of simply living stability, and then through the actual living of stability, stability basically flows from myself naturally into all that I do within my life – so in that, it’s a natural expression of stability for all to see – and so not about showing it or not showing it and then fearing whether I am showing it or not – as like putting on a show, that is already proof that I’m not LIVING stability, I’m merely ‘trying’ to SHOW it.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fail to see, realise and understand the difference between showing something and LIVING it within and as myself/my being.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that through living these expressions/ways, no need to show is necessary, because it’s simply existent within my physical body, and so will naturally BE within all that I do.

When and as I see myself wanting to ‘put on a show’ of stability instead of LIVE stability which requires no show, and simply an expression of the stability that I am/live within and as myself, I stop and breathe. I realise that ‘showing’ stability as a desire/want is NOT living it. I realise that having to focus on showing stability within and as myself is not required and if this occurs, which it had for myself, then it goes to show that I've failed to live stability in its purest form. I realise that living stability automatically/naturally expels from my physical body as an expression of myself/my life/my physical body – this is actual living expression of stability – and so this happens, then there’s no need to ‘think’ about whether I am ‘showing’ stability or not within a desire/want within my mind which is just putting on a show/bullshit fake stuff.

I commit myself to be aware of the times when I desire to ‘put on a show’ of stability and to stop, breathe, and bring myself back here within and as my physical body, because stability is not a ‘show’ – it simply IS. It is there. It is expressed naturally through and within myself. It is me and so stability should and will be existent within and as myself in ALL that I do, from simple task, to difficult task – because living stability never vanishes, living it is permanent, expression is permanent, and living stability is real.

I commit myself to not focus within my mind of the times of showing/not showing stability and changing my physical behaviour to suit one or the other for the desire within my mind of showing stability as much as possible.

I commit myself to simply BE.

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