Monday, 28 September 2015

Day 499 - Can't process information fast enough


This has mainly to do with responses I give to another. I have this belief that I simply never have and still cannot, a lot of the time, process and/or understand what another is saying with speed/clarity as for me to be able to respond with a 'good enough' reply. Really though, all this 'processing' of information comes down to, it just comes down to basically, whether I understand something or not. If I understand what another is saying to me, then I reply with whatever I have to say on the matter. If I do not understand what another is saying, then I can't reply. Or, I just give a half-hearted type of reply that does not benefit the situation.

So, if I don't understand something, then it's best to ask for additional assistance/advice and/or learn. Something else that I just thought of is things like sums. Figuring out sums in my head. Like, in maths. Something x something divided by something + something = what? I will process this as to get the answer, but in this case, the speed is dependent, well, it should ONLY be dependent on my knowledge of maths and/or sums specifically. Anything else that is 'stopping me' from processing/answering faster, is a belief I have of my own ability/abilities - like, fear of getting the answer/response wrong, fear of mistakes etc.

See, it always comes down to basics when one looks at responses/replies/answers self-honestly. I'm doing this now. It's not rocket science as others say. Do I understand what is being said/asked, if not, seek assistance/help. Do I not know the answer/response immediately, well, I self-honestly look at the question/statement being asked/said, to see if anything 'else' comes up OTHER THAN my knowledge of maths for instance, or my knowledge of whatever it is that is being asked of me/stated to me. It's always simple/basic.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can't process information said by another/something fast enough as to formulate a reply that is 'worthy' enough.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that responses/replies/answers are not rocket science, and are in fact basic in terms of knowing why/why I cannot answer/respond 'as well' as I possibly could - it comes down to knowledge of subject/understanding of subject, only.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to formulate a 'half-hearted' reply/response/answer in 'hope' of appearing a certain way - smart, wise, intelligent, like I know things/everything - instead of being self-honest within myself and say that I don't understand and/or require additional assistance/help with something.

When and as I see myself in a situation whereas another is asking me of something/stating something to me, and I then desire to participate within the belief that I am 'slow' and so cannot process the information/what is being said fast enough to be able to 'keep up' - I stop and breathe. I realise that I've allowed this belief of not being able to process information fast enough to take hold of me and grip me within this belief, within manifestation that this is the case, and so when the time came of having to 'process' what another says, I made the situation into a 'big thing' and 'big deal' within my mind and within the belief that I simply couldn't keep up with what was being said and so had to question what was being said so that I could understand properly.

I commit myself to hear out what another says, and to STOP any beliefs that come up within my mind that what is being said is 'too advanced' for me to deal with, and so that I simply can't understand it without questioning lots to 'keep up' with the conversation/something.

When and as I see myself in a situation with another and not understand what they say/not hearing them correctly and within this, then desiring to give a half-hearted reply/response as to 'show' that I am smart/wise/intelligent and/or did in fact hear what another says, I stop and breathe. I realise that there is NOTHING 'wrong' with clarification/asking another again for assistance/support/help, because I do not understand something fully/didn't hear them fully. I commit myself to see, realise and understand that knowing what's going on, whatever the scenario is the most vital thing, because that establishes the best means of communication.

So, I commit myself to MAKE SURE that I 'know the score' whatever the scenario, and so not 'fake' the score through replying for sake of 'intelligence' or for sake of 'knowing things'.

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