Sunday, 4 October 2015
Day 501 - imPRESSURE
I've been looking at this desire at times to impress. Recently, I saw this want to impress, to attempt to 'heighten' attraction from another woman, towards myself. But, another example that I've seen/I'm sure others have, is wanting to impress during a job interview/a job trial/once starting a job. But, it can exist in a lot of matters. But, no matter what the matter is, this want to impress ALWAYS comes with PRESSURE. As soon as I believe in and then participate within and as this desire to impress, the pressure comes with it. There is no impressing without pressure for me. They just go hand in hand.
'Natural' and physical impressing, would be impressing without needing to 'change zone' so to speak. I shouldn't have to enter the 'impressing zone' to then show this 'ability' to another, or show that I'm good at something to another. The average person relies on this impressing ability to prove something towards another/and even for themselves. It can also be to heighten/boost an idea they have of themselves within their minds. Then believing that they must manifest this idea through impressing physically. But yes, even then, the pressure entails.
What about total calmness in every situation? Calmness, stability - they lead to doing anything well. If one is relaxed, calm, stable, HERE - then what else must be done? Those are the key ingredients to then present self as the best version of self that self can be - simple. Nothing more is needed. No need to impress to show/prove to another an idea of self. No idea should exist.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to desire to impress, and within this desire to impress, automatically within and as the desire to impress, participate within and as pressure to reach these levels that I see are appropriate to impress.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow an idea of myself/something to lead me to this desire to impress.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that without an idea of self/something and how I relate to it, then no desire/need to impress to prove myself/something will exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to see this pressure that comes with impressing as 'normal' and 'just how it is'.
So, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to succumb my physical body to this pressure, and within doing so, damage my physical body though stress, pain and other consequences.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fail to be totally at peace within and as myself, here in my physical body.
When and as I see myself desiring to impress, I stop and breathe. I realise that within this desire to impress, exists an idea that I am trying to 'meet' through showing these 'impressive' abilities of mine. And so, when I allowed myself to participate within and as this 'impressing' pattern, I was merely trying to make this idea REAL for myself/another, but in doing so, fail to take into account the pressure that COMES WITH impressing - and so also allowing my physical body to come under severe consequences at the MERE cost of proving an idea that I had of myself/something - and so of course here, putting my physical body down the list of my cares, which is a massive mistake to make, because my physical body is absolutely necessary for my very existence here.
I commit myself to see, realise and understand WHERE and WHAT these ideas I have of myself actually ARE, so that I can dissect them/remove them BEFORE they dictate what I do through wanting to impress physically.
I commit myself to be weary/very aware of the red flag moments when I see a desire to impress, so that I can stop, breathe, and also CHECK what it is I am trying to prove to myself/another.
I commit myself to see that impressing always comes packaged with pressure - and so it is clearly never 'ideal' whatsoever to want to impress/impress at all.