Monday, 12 October 2015

Day 507 - Interruption/Reason part 2


I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to justify 'annoyance' at another for what I interpreted as an 'interruption' on account of things didn't 'go to plan' within my mind, and the plans within my mind 'hit a ditch' so to speak, and so within this ditch, I saw this as an interruption which I then used as a justification within my mind to behave/react within and as 'annoyance' towards another.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that it's POSSIBLE in ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM for another to SOMEHOW KNOW what I'm doing at ANY precise moment in time.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that it is MY responsibility to TELL another for them to have ANY clue/idea about what I am doing/going to do.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to 'plan' things/what's going to happen within my mind, and within this 'planning' and the end of planning, see how my plan is going to happen within my mind, and so participate within a positive feeling of happiness on account of how my plan is going to work, only to BLAME whoever/whatever was 'responsible' for stopping my plans from going as smoothly as I Saw them going within my mind - and of course within this, just using whoever/whatever as a 'scapegoat' when in reality, it's of course my OWN responsibility to do whatever it is that I have to do for my 'plan' - my planned reality to actually succeed.

SO, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to plan ONLY within my mind, out of and for what I 'want' to happen, not what is/will PRACTICALLY happen. SO, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not plan PRACTICALLY/REALISTICALLY for what will/can happen. I commit myself to plan practically/realistically, as opposed to planning within desires/imaginations within my mind which contain NO practical/real purpose/planning/DOING, only IDEAS about this 'successful' plan that I desire to happen within my mind.

When and as I see myself in the process of PLANNING something, and basically doing a half-assed planning job ONLY within my MIND and so not CONSIDERING the PRACTICAL/REAL things that I have to do for this plan to SUCCEED in REALITY, I stop and breathe. I realise that planning within my MIND only/solely is MORE THAN BOUND to FAIL. And I of course within this, realise that it's SOLELY/ONLY MY responsibility as to whether this plan succeeds/fails, because it is TOTALLY dependent on my considerations within REALITY or my LACK OF considerations within planning just in my mind.

So, I commit myself to ALWAYS plan for the REAL, the reality, the actual, the physical, the substance, and NOT for the desire, the imagination within my MIND.

I commit myself to thus take ALL things into consideration, because through this and within this, I can know that I am HERE, I am doing things on a practical/real/physical level, because otherwise I'd NOT be considering anything at all, I'd ONLY be seeing/wanting/desiring my plan to 'work' without doing anything else, and so without considering anything - which i see now is bound to fail, without considering for what is HERE.

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