Tuesday, 20 October 2015

Day 513 - Utilising what is HERE part 2


I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to desire to not make use of things that are HERE in this world/existence as they are NOW/CURRENTLY, for the reason of seeing them/these things as 'not useful' and/or would 'not exist' within an IDEAL world within my mind of each human being a Destonian with the care/dignity/respect of eachother and all.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to attempt to live within and as this ideal world within my mind, and also try to manifest this living within this ideal world, by stopping my use of things that I see would not exist in this ideal world.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that it's impossible to live within/make use of a world that is NOT yet HERE/REAL/EXISTENT, and so trying to/attempting to live within ANY 'ideal' world is impossible, and if I Try as I have, I see that it leads me to less enjoyment/opportunity/things, because in this CURRENT time/way of living/world/existence, I can ONLY work with what is here, but of course, I can STILL create awesome things, as can others through what we have here, so in PREPARATION for the existence of the ideal world that I want, of pure harmony/self-honesty of all, the respect/dignity of each and all, a world of life.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a 'bad person' for making use of things that I see 'are not necessarily cool' within this desire of an ideal world, but within this, failing to realise that minus these 'not necessarily cool' things, then I do not have use of a lot of things, and so within this, I lose enjoyment/experiences/growth - because I can only work with what existences now.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that I can make use of a lot of things in our current existence/world WITHOUT 'additional' motives and/or from a starting point of 'fucking things up' for myself/another, and purely thus through enjoyment/experience/change/growth for what is HERE currently.

When and as I see myself desiring to NOT make use of something that exists here in the moment, because it doesn't 'add up' to what would/would not exist in an IDEAL world that I want to be in, yet DO NOT AS OF THIS MOMENT currently live in, I stop and breathe. I realise that yes, it's of course fine for others/myself to WORK towards this BETTER/BEST world for all within being a Destonian, but at the same time, others/I can only work with what currently exists. And so, it's about making use of what is here, for BENEFIT of all, and for WORKING TOWARDS what we all want, that is of course, a world that is best for all. So, I commit myself to investigate all that is here, so that I can then make an informed decision about whether it can assist all in some way, shape or form, so that I can enjoy/experience/learn/grow in the moment, but also at the same time, create and work towards creating a world that is best for all.

When and as I see myself attempting to live in an 'ideal' world that of course does NOT currently exist within its fullest, since it is still 'ideal' in the first place, I stop and breathe. I realise that I simply CANNOT live in something that as of yet does not exist. I realise that attempting to live in this ideal world within my mind does NOT benefit all, and so within doing so, within attempting to live within this ideal world in my mind, I may 'feel' like I'm doing the 'right' things/'good' things, but in doing so, I Sacrifice my own enjoyment/experiences/learning/growth and that of others, through failing to make use of what is here right now, and seeing it within my mind as 'not cool' and 'pointless' as I believe it would not exist in this ideal world/picture I have within my mind. So I commit myself to make practical use of what is here for the benefit of all. I commit myself to not sacrifice the enjoyment/experiences/learning/growth of myself/others for the 'sake' of desiring to and/or ALREADY living in this ideal world within my mind which as I've stated, of course is not yet a reality. I commit myself to ONLY work in REALITY and within a REAL situation.

I commit myself to accept what is currently here, for better or for worse.

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