Wednesday, 18 November 2015

Day 527 - Disillusioned by the system


The further I get into my process with Desteni, the more disillusioned I am by the system and the exploitation/manipulation that happens at all times. This disillusionment is becoming more apparent for me, where I am really seeing the system for what it IS. It's more than completely fucked up. It's in complete shambles, we just use eachother, disregard eachother. Disregard/use life. It's the only way to succeed in the system.

It's a major expense on what is best for all. And I have to say, I am finding it difficult to even 'want to' be in the system at all. This is not the life that I wanted to have. One which requires manipulation at every corner to win at life. The game of life - life shouldn't be a game at all. We only have one life - why is this how it has to be/is? A game/competition of exploitation/manipulation. The mind is evidently a powerful thing. It controls all of us, it keeps up in desire/obsession of wanting to be in this game and NEVER leave this game.

But, if I allow myself to get down about the system/all it entails/the way we fuck up life and want to 'leave' the system and 'leave' life itself...then obviously I've succumbed to defeat by the system/my mind. Everything here is total chaos. It IS changeable...and really, that's all I should need to keep on pushing. If I can change, if others can change, we can all change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dwell upon the fucked up shit that our system is/that humans - the mind is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as self-defeat when seeing our current life/the system for what it really is and within this, wanting to 'leave' the system/my life altogether.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the system/life as it is now to dictate my own life/my future life/why I am here/what I am here for/to do.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that the more aware I become of this system/the bullshit it entails, the more INCENTIVE this should give me in wanting to advise others of this and advise others of the need to investigate/undertake Desteni/the Desteni material.

So, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to turn this AWARENESS of the system/what it is/what life was/has become into AWAKENING support/assistance/advice for others to use/utilise so that they too can become aware, as I am, and so for change to actually happen.

I commit myself to utilise news articles/stories/videos/information/my own experiences in the system/of the system to my/others advantage in terms of capitalising on this experience/knowledge for what is best for all by raising awareness through blogs/vlogs/whatever else so that one by one, each can see our reality for what it REALLY is and then to act upon it through self-change/self-honesty as I have/am.

When and as I see myself desiring to go into a state of disillusionment based on the system/what it is/what reality is/life is right now, I stop and breathe. I realise that within and as the term 'disillusionment' I've attached this emotion of self-defeat, because something (the system/reality/life) is not what I INITIALLY thought it was in all its apparent 'glory'. I realise that becoming aware of the reality of the situation/of life/all it entails is NOT cause for self-defeat, it is cause for even more incentive/need for myself to raise awareness to all others on why this world is how it is and how we can change and why we must change.

I commit myself to never succumb to self-defeat no matter HOW the world/system is, by being a voice of awareness for change.

I commit myself to be an example of a physical life form here by remaining stable/calm/relaxed at all times by not allowing myself to participate within and as emotions/feelings/thoughts/reactions in my mind and allow them to dictate/direct me as life.

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