Saturday, 28 November 2015
Day 530 - Utilising my memory
I had misplaced a certain card which has a certain 10 digit number that would assist me for a phone call that I had to make. So, already within not having this card and thus the 10 digit number in my possession, I automatically went into this self-defeated character of that being it, and resigning myself to the believe that I'll have to make this phone call without knowing of this 10 digit number as I had misplaced the card that states the number.
So, I had made the phone call, skipped the automatic voiceover that asked me for my 10 digit number, as I didn't know it, and waited on hold/in a queue until someone answered my call. After 5 minutes of waiting on hold, really, because I had nothing better to do whilst waiting, I decided to try and remember this 10 digit number within and as my memory and nothing more. It was funny actually, I basically gave it a shot, and got it first time lol. So, I repeated it back to myself a few times to make sure I knew it, because at that point I had decided to hang up the phone and re-call with the newfound knowledge of this 10 digit number.
Anyway, I found this interesting, that I automatically gave up because I did not have the card that stated this 10 digit number. I mean, previously I had always used this card whenever I needed to say/state this 10 digit number, so I became reliant on this card. But my memory was more than up to scratch here, as I got it instantly just by giving it a go, by trying to remember this 10 digit number. It was so easy to remember.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to go into self-defeat when realising that I had misplaced this card that stated the 10 digit number and within this believing that I was 'lost' without this card, believing that there was no chance in Hell that I could remember this 10 digit number 'off by heart' without using the card to see the number right in front of me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my memory is horrible and that I can't remember anything at all, and use this belief to go into self-defeat after misplacing this card.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become so reliant on numbers/words etc that are written down on something and within this, never utilise my memory and train myself/my utilisation of my memory to 'build it up' so that I can improve on my memory and actually use my memory as what is best for all.
When and as I see myself desiring to use a 'visual' aid/copy of a 'long' number/word something that I BELIEVE I don't/won't know via using my memory, I stop and breathe. I realise that within this current scenario, I've proven myself wrong by utilising my memory to remember a long number, and knowing it straight away without even having to 'search the depths of my memory' to find it/to know it's correct. So, I commit myself to continue testing myself and testing my memory as to train it up/improve it by NOT referring to visual aids and such for a quick and easy answer, and to instead put my memory to the test by trying to remember the number/word to the best of my ability.
I realise that utilising my memory can be very helpful, because it's like having a mobile/portable system that I can then access at any time to provide myself/another with information that is needed at that time, and I realise that I may/may not always have access to numbers/words in the form of visual aid for one reason or another, so it's cool to train up as to improve my memory and to see, realise and understand that my memory can make my life/the lives of all a whole lot easier/stable.
So, I commit myself to give myself/my memory ongoing tests when I see that I can do, so that I can can switch from never using/utilising my memory for things and/or only using my memory in 'desperate' times of need, to using/utilising my memory as a first option.