Sunday, 6 December 2015
Day 531 - Consequences of delay
I've seen this countless times in my life. So, and it's always to do with my mind, and fears, thoughts, emotions, feelings, beliefs. Not even just 'delay' as I see it now, it can also be means of putting something off entirely. But obviously and I'm sure everyone has seen how one's mind stops/delays self from doing things that they need/want/have to do. With delay specifically though, recently I've been experiencing this delay functioning within my life.
Delaying things that I know is what is best for my physical body. Delaying these things because of self-judgements about things and so on. Eventually I do the thing that I have to do for my physical body, but I suffer the consequences here. 1, I damage my body through delay. 2. When I do the thing for my physical body, because I delayed initially, my mind has accumulated these self-judgements and so on during the delay, and so as I do the physical thing necessary for my physical body, it's LACED with 'mind attacks' that I struggle with, this for me is the most major consequence.
And then there's the realisation that happens during the thing that I delayed/afterwards of "This was no big deal at all, why did I delay, what a waste of time within delay."
So, here obviously I have to look at these self-judgements as the reason for the delay in the first place and/or physically move myself so that I do NOT delay, I have to experiment/do some trial and error. But I see that despite any self-judgements/fears/beliefs etc, and as they come up...yes, if I breathe, then I SHOULD be able to 'bypass' any desire to delay for sake of mind. The longer I delay, the worse the consequences. The consequences I mentioned above, plus the obvious one of losing/wasting time within and as a self-judgement, a fear, a belief.
So, this is a reminder to myself of of course the necessity of breath/breathing within and as the moment of oncoming self-judgements/fears/beliefs. And the reminder that the less delay that happens...the better it is for myself. And the more I delay..the more consequences I suffer.