Saturday, 23 January 2016

Day 546 - Every moment is an opportunity to be an example

I'm seeing lately that each and every single moment counts when it comes to being an example. Every little movement, every scenario is an opportunity for us to be an example for others. What/how we do, what/how we act at all times shows not only who we are, but gives another an example of how one can act in a situation, in every situation, by themselves or with others, or with anything.

And even if nobody is in one's vicinity, that is no excuse to drop one's guard and NOT be an example. Because, it's necessary to be a CONSTANT example, to oneself and all. So, an example 24/7 - which is easier said than done, but it's what we all must work towards.

Driving today is where this 'being an example in every moment' occurred to me. Taking it very slowly, caring for every road user, caring for all. Slowly changing lanes. Driving no faster than the suggested limit. Thanking other road users for giving way to me. All these tiny things, and these are just when driving. Every single action we take is important, it shows us and shows others us, and of course as an example, we can be that change for another, that is a MASSIVE thing.

And obviously we may, and most of the time, we may never KNOW if we 'influenced' another to change as the example that we are - but that's not what it's about, it's not about seeing what we've done, it's simply about showing ourselves and others that this is the best way to act in any given moment, leading by example, leading as change.

So, DO NOT underestimate your power to be an example.
For myself, I can say that I've learnt A LOT of things from others as them being something that I admire. A quality that I like in them. Yes, maybe they weren't aware of themselves as an example, but nonetheless I have taken/used those qualities that I see in others, within myself, to make myself a better person and a better example as life.

Every single thing we do MUST be that which is best for all. No matter who/what or if anyone/anything at all is in company.
Let's all be and work towards being 24/7 examples for ourselves and all!

Tuesday, 19 January 2016

Day 545 - THAT matches what I want

I see how when I seek a perspective/assistance/support from another, and the perspective/assistance/support 'matches' what it is that I WANTED to hear, then I'll usually heed that perspective/assistance/support. But on the other hand, if I seek for these things from another and it's NOT what I wanted to hear, then I'll just KEEP searching for perspectives/assistance/support until I hear another tell me something that matches the want that I want to hear/have.

So, that's not on.
And with receiving perspectives/assistance/support that I wanted to hear, I see how I can and have used that as an excuse/reason before. Like "Well, I'm doing it this way, because that is what I heard from another, and they said this worked for them."
When in reality, it was ALWAYS something that I wanted to do, but hearing another actually say/do a similar thing, that was like the justification that it's all good to do this thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek a perspective/assistance/support from another purely for the reason of hearing what I WANT to hear, so that I can justify doing that thing/behaviour, just because another did the same, and so me believing that then it's okay to do, because another did it and it may/may not have worked for them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continually seek perspectives/assistance/support and only stop seeking when I hear something that I want to hear/that I can do and then use this as justification for why I'm doing it.

So I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek perspectives/assistance/support purely from the starting point of ONLY actually heeding it IF it is what I want/wanted to hear - and within this, basically dismissing perspectives/assistance/support if it is something that I did not want to hear/that I believe is useless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dismiss perspectives/assistance/support if it is something that I don't want to hear/something that doesn't match what it is that I actually wanted to hear and/or something that I believe is useless.

When and as I see myself desiring to ask for perspectives/assistance/support basically with an ulterior motive behind/as the starting point, because in fact what I'm searching for is 'fuel' for what it is I want to do/I believe is true, I stop and breathe. I realise that I must ask for perspectives/assistance/support from the starting point of 'seeking' and that is all. It is a means of gathering extra information/knowledge so that I can then assist myself/others in the best way possible. Seeking perspectives/assistance/support and only heeding the perspectives/assistance/support that I want to hear is pointless, because in doing so I fail to as a stable being, gather and hear out properly all the perspectives/assistance/support to be able to make an informed decision.

I commit myself to seek perspectives/assistance/support from the starting point of SEEKING by understanding that what I want to do may/may not be appropriate to do, which is actually why I'm seeking perspectives/assistance/support in the first place.

I commit myself to hear out ALL perspectives/assistance/support that I hear/read, no matter if it's what I want to hear or not, because by doing so I can really look at all that I've heard/read to then come to the best possible outcome.

I commit myself not to trap myself exclusively into my own box of what I see is best/what I want to do - within and as 'me, me, me'.

I commit myself to see, realise and understand that all perspectives/assistance/support are valuable in one way or another.

When and as I see myself asking for perspectives/assistance/support and I hear/read something that I have resistance to and so I desire to automatically dismiss it because of the resistance I feel, I stop and breathe. I commit myself to identify/explore this resistance, because in fact this means of information could be/be a part of the best outcome/route that I could take. So I commit myself to explore/write out why I don't like what this perspective/assistance/support is saying, because it could just be I'm too fearful of doing this thing/acting this way/taking this route because of emotions/feelings/thoughts/memories.

Sunday, 17 January 2016

Day 544 - My suggestions suck!

I made a suggestion, actually just now I realise that though I made a suggestion, it was not very 'direct' and I didn't show that I STOOD on this suggestion, that I stood as this suggestion. If I really stood as this suggestion, then I see that I could have put in a better 'argument' so to speak. I could have made more of it - that is, if I really put in 100%.

Anyway, so I got a reply by another that agreed with my suggestion, and that is when I went into resistance. I saw that it was because it was unexpected. It was unexpected, because I am judging my suggestions, judging them as being 'terrible' - I don't suggest it to my utmost and fully. Like a half suggestion, when instead it should be a full suggestion, a suggestion that I mean/can stand as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my suggestions as 'terrible'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that anything I say/suggest is 'not worthy of one's time'.

So, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to speak up/say/suggest in moments where I see that I could have assisted not only others, but myself.

When and as I see myself putting in 'little' effort as my suggestion, because I'm judging my suggestion already as being 'terrible' and not worthy of one's time, I stop and breathe. I realise that I can provide helpful suggestions, as any can. I realise that to fully 'promote' my suggestion, I have to stand as my suggestion, and so use correct words/voice to speak my suggestion.
I commit myself to stand as my suggestion by seeing that what I have to write/say CAN be of assistance to another/myself - it may not be in the end, but the point either way is to suggest it, because if I never suggest it, I never know/nor does any ever know.

So, I commit myself to write/say my suggestion from the starting point of assisting another/myself, and NOT from the starting point of whether my suggestion WILL actually assist another/myself.

Saturday, 16 January 2016

Day 543 - Making giant proclamations

I've seen how I've had a tendency to make giant proclamations about myself to others. A vague example of it is me telling another that THIS is how I'm going to live my life now and in the future. And other proclamations. But I've already seen now how they come back to bite me, because these giant proclamations are no longer things that I want to do and/or be LIMITED by. And I've seen how I make giant proclamations to show where/how I stand on something, and like "I will not sway from this, I will not change my mind about this, ever."

And I see how I've said a lot of these giant proclamations within EGO, so like, "This is how it's gonna be, this is how I'm gonna be, YOU nor ANYONE/ANYTHING can change what I want/how I'm gonna be, so HA!" Lol.
And as I said, it comes back to bite me, because recently I've seen how what I said within this giant proclamation/ego is NO LONGER something that I want to stand by. And there are parts I want to alter of that giant proclamation and/or totally go against that giant proclamation.

And so I'm proclamation-ing all over the place to all people and so on, and they see it as the final say by me on whatever it is that I am proclaiming. Anyway, so I see how this is very limiting, and of course within ego - limit and ego both must be vanquished..

So I see it as best to for instance say, or like..start with "CURRENTLY, I see that this is the best thing/route for me to take/do..." And so by using 'currently' - it is just what I currently see as fit at the time, and of course that 'currently' has to be used without limit/ego, and actually yes, I see it already is, because if I was as ego, then I'd not use the word 'currently' - I'd just be like "YEAH, THIS IS WHAT I'M DOING, TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT BUDDY!"

I commit myself to no longer use giant proclamations as to show 'how I stand' on a matter within EGO and LIMITATION.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make giant proclamations as EGO and LIMITATION.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to realise that NOTHING IS FINAL, because I keep learning and keep growing and I keep exploring/finding new paths to take and I keep learning about myself, and about the system, and so many things within life, and so nothing is ever final/granted in the words that I speak - things change always and constantly, so proclamations of any kind will always come back to bite me when I see that they no longer ring true and/or they were said as ego/limitation.

When and as I see myself desiring to use a giant proclamation to VOICE how I stand on something/about something, I stop and breathe. I realise that the obvious here, in which I've failed to realise though, is that I do not know everything, in fact I know very little, I have so much to learn, and with learning, comes understanding/clarification, and with these fragments of learning/facts and so on...I can voice what I see is best at the time and 'currently' - and so by using 'currently' - be open to future change on the things I say. As I said, nothing is ever final, my word is never final, I keep learning daily.

I commit myself not to confine myself to a strict/limited and egotistical way of seeing something/myself for the sake of being someone who 'has all the answers' and/or 'knows what's best' as ego.
I commit myself to heed others' advice and information about things by giving myself the opportunity to learn/grow/expand with the benefit of all life around me.

Day 542 - Pitying smiles/looking away

The other day I walked past an elderly individual who was using a walking frame. As I walked past him, I pretended to look at something else - I did this because I felt pity towards this individual and his 'predicament'. So I pretended to look at this fruit at a fruit shop, just so I didn't have to look him in the eye lol.

So, there is that, and there's also been times where I've just put on a pitying smile. If I had to translate this pitying smile, it would say "Sorry that you're in that position." an unfortunate smile. In both cases, I've created separation by seeing individuals with certain needs/requirements as 'unfortunate'. I don't know their story though. Hey, maybe they were in fact FORTUNATE, it could have been worse for instance. Either way though, you know..if I was in a similar position, if I required a wheelchair/crutches, I wouldn't want/desire pitying smiles. I'd want to be treated exactly the same as anyone else. My predicament may be a bump in the road/my life, but it's nothing more than that, and it doesn't require apologetic faces/pitying smiles/looking away.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give pitying smiles/apologetic faces and/or look away when I walk past an individual who is in somewhat of a predicament as a means of saying 'sorry' to them, which only creates separation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to treat one with a 'condition' and/or 'predicament' as 'not like me' and/or 'not like others'.

When and as I see myself desiring to put on a pitying smile/apologetic face/look away when in the vicinity/walking past an individual who is in a predicament/has a condition, I stop and breathe. I realise that no matter the predicament/condition, we are the definition of life - and that is all. I commit myself to walk past and/or look at people in predicaments/with conditions with my 'regular' face, just as I would walk past/look at any individual/ANY form of life.

I commit myself not to allow a predicament/condition to define a life.

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Sunday, 10 January 2016

Day 541 - Accepting/understanding conditioning and programming

We're all conditioned/programmed beings, none are not. Within my process of Desteni, I am walking my way out of this conditioning/programming - that is what the Desteni Process is about. Of course though, I am walking with the majority as conditioned/programmed beings. That is just fact as of now. So there will be constant qualities that I see within others that I see are not suitable/viable as life. But obviously I have a fully and totally different perspective on everything now, on life, on emotions/feelings, on thoughts, on judgements - on it all - because I'm walking my process with Desteni.

As I touched on, the majority are not walking their process with Desteni. They don't know of it, or they are fearful of it, or they think it's fake, whatever the reason.
Anyway, I see that I occasionally still judge others for these qualities that I see are not suitable/viable as life. But that is not cool of me to do this. I found/got given a unique and amazing opportunity/experience within Desteni and so within using the tools of Desteni, and it does NOT matter that others either do not know of it, pass up the opportunity of Desteni, or what they do - there is NEVER a reason to judge a person not walking process with Desteni and so there is NEVER a reason to judge a person's conditioning/programming. And as got pointed out to me by another, the whole process of Desteni/point also is to not judge anyone or anything, no life can be judged, no life should be judged. No separation should occur AT ALL.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that conditioning/programming/brainwashing is rampant and existent in every one of us, and at the same time, just because I am walking myself out of these programs, does NOT give me 'the right' to judge any still living/having these programs within themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore what I was prior to knowing of Desteni - that being an individual who was living within rampant conditioning/programming/brainwashing, just as other life did/still does and is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my change will cause some type of chain reaction for others to change and/or will cause some immediate change in others, when in reality each has to undertake this process with Desteni themselves to actually and genuinely change.

When and as I see myself desiring to judge a quality that I see in another, I stop and breathe. I realise that these qualities that are existent/that I see in others are existent in all, based upon and as conditioning/programming/brainwashing, and so there should not exist any surprise within me when I see these qualities in others, let alone any form of judgement towards others that are showing these qualities. So I commit myself to see these qualities within others and not to participate within and as any energetic movements within my mind of wanting to judge others for showing these qualities, by coming to terms/the reality of life and all that are here of how conditioning/programming/brainwashing is a STAPLE in society/in us, it IS us, it is all we know.

I commit myself thus to be an example of stability to others and/or help others in any way that I can as to calm a situation for example or get to a stable conclusion.

Thursday, 7 January 2016

Day 540 - Changing lanes

A basic and fundamental part of driving is changing lanes. But it is something I struggle with. I mean, not the act itself, but the fears of doing so. Basically, the line of thought that appears within my mind when I want to change lanes and there are quite a few people driving cars in the lane that I want to go into is "Will they let me in?". And 9 times out of 10 I end up answering that question myself within my mind of "NO THEY WILL NOT LET ME IN!".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that other road users will not allow me to change lanes and/or they will do their utmost to prevent me from going into the lane that they are using.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stay in the same lane that I am driving in, because I am too fearful to change lanes.

Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'take the long route' because of my fear of changing lanes, and so being STUCK in one lane, have to do a u-turn or the like to reach my destination.

Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that all road users are self-interested/angry people who care for no other road users but themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself whilst in my car driving as 'less than' others who are in their cars driving/other vehicles and such whilst driving.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that all road users are equal.

When and as I see myself fearing to change lanes, I stop and breathe. I realise that I am equal to all others and so all others whilst they are driving/in their vehicles and such. I realise that people are not all self-interested and within this, non-caring for other road user-type of people. I commit myself to drive in the lane of my choosing/what I want/need to to reach my destination. I commit myself to indicate to whatever lane I want/need to go into for WHATEVER reason, and to look in my mirrors and make sure the coast is clear and to move into that lane.

I realise that I must initiate the indication in the first place for other road users to even know that I want to move into that/another lane.

When and as I see myself requiring to go into another lane and a road user/multiple road users do not allow me into that lane and then I participate within and as panic because I am struggling to get into that lane, I stop and breathe. I realise that I cannot rely on other road users to give way to me/allow me into that lane, and so I commit myself to breathe in the moment and to be patient whilst a car/cars drive in that lane that I want to go in, and continue being patient until I find the 'right' moment to move into that lane and/or a road user decides to allow me into that lane.

I commit myself to practice lane-changing when I can so that I can get a feel for it and see the finer details of lane-changing, things like how long it takes, how much space is needed and so on.

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Sunday, 3 January 2016

Day 539 - To suit roles

I was checking out this article about people who have altered themselves in some way, shape or form to be in a particular role in a movie/tv show.
These alterations/transformations are not all drastic. Some are alterations such as growing a beard, shaving a beard..wearing 'fat suits'...piercing - things like that. For me the most troubling alterations that people do for roles is to put on weight.

I mean, putting on weight, no matter how much (and it's usually a lot) just for a movie role is quite absurd when considering that one is totally ignoring one's physical body/the health of that physical body. Chowing down on ice cream, chocolate, sweets/candy - whatever it is to put on all this weight so as to portray a character. Obviously it's all motivated by money.

And obviously it is damaging one's physical body. But the knowledge of this is either unknown by people performing these alterations, or it's not seen as anything of concern. Could be "Hey, cool, I get to eat all of this unhealthy food for a few weeks, no problem! And then I can simply work it all off with exercise afterwards." But all of this unhealthy food in large quantities over a short period of time WILL affect the body. Yes, one can work it off, but the damage was already done..

On the other end of the spectrum, is the people that get fit for a role. Putting on muscle, losing weight. They'd all push themselves, beyond a necessary limit for a physical body. So one way or another, the physical body is not seen as a priority at all basically. And that's not cool, the physical body is our vessel. It is us. It's not just a toy, something that can be played with. And money cannot fix permanent physical body damage, no.

So obviously a whole new starting point is necessary. And a caring for ourselves, a caring for life. NOT a disregard for ourselves/life/eachother.

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Saturday, 2 January 2016

Day 538 - Too concerned with the process

A lot of the time I see how I'm overly concerned with the process, and so by doing so, I miss out on the enjoyment. Examples I have are a recent one actually, I literally spent hours trying to find a particular type of video player that would allow me to do certain things - certain things so that I could watch video files in a particular way/make them fully watch-able. And within this search for this video player, I was very frustrated, because of a few things.

1: It was taking a REALLY long time.
2: I just wanted to watch these damn videos! Not spend hours trying to find the correct settings and such.

In the end, after searching for so long without answer, I stopped and basically reverted BACK to the original video player that I was using - that being..the video player that didn't work 'perfectly'. So it was somewhat of a sacrifice, but for the most part, this video player did the trick at least. And this video player was convenient for me, convenient enough. I see that I have to make minor sacrifices of what I want to watch, but nothing of concern/nothing that I'll miss that is going to affect my life to any type of great extent.

So it's the seemingly 'little' things that can become MOUNTAINS within our minds. Obsession. Which brings on frustration. Which brings on regret. Which brings on the realisation that I have wasted my time doing this searching, when I could have done minor searching, then just looked at my options and taken/used the best option that I could find within an appropriate use of time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to obsess over the process of doing things, as opposed to the living of things.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that sacrifices have to be made in life a lot of the time, yet, it's about finding the best way to make those sacrifices..and/or the way to make the least sacrifices.

When and as I see myself obsessing over the process of doing something/how to do something, rather than actually just DOING IT within LIVING IT and ENJOYING IT, I stop and breathe. I realise that time is of the essence. I realise that time is short, as is life. I realise that what time I have here is valuable as life. I commit myself to DO IT and LIVE IT and ENJOY IT by pushing through the thoughts within my mind as obsession so as to be able to live/enjoy each and every second I have.

I commit myself to give myself appropriate lengths of time of the things that I do, so as to not OVERDO things and put way too much time into certain things within trying to 'perfect' things within and as obsession within my mind.
I commit myself not to be a slave to obsession.
I commit myself to prioritise the practical, as opposed to the method.

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