Thursday, 3 March 2016
Day 549 - Working with attraction
I feel like it's easier to socialise with males, because I don't 'have' to participate within this game of attraction. In saying that, it would depend on the preferences, the sexual preferences of one. But for me I am attracted to females, not males. And it's when I am in the vicinity with females that I see could be 'suitable' for myself in terms of partner/sex - they are the times, and there are lots of these times, when I participate within this attraction game and personality within myself.
It's something that is not helpful for me/anyone. I don't want to participate as this attraction personality/character. I want to remain a stable being and a being that is a singular form, not a changing form/personality/character based on who/what is involved. Of course I should be able to be in any situation and not feel the need to alter personalities/characters to 'suit' the occasion. In this instance of 'suiting' the occasion, this 'suiting' is based on a whole lot of brainwashing and patterns within and as attraction/sex/flirting.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enter personalities/characters of attraction/sex/flirting when I see a 'compatible' partner as a female in my vicinity/that I socialise with.
I forgive myself that I Have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that I do NOT have to play this game of attraction/sex/flirting at all - though because I HAVE played this game from birth, it's well and truly pre/programmed into and as me and so it seems difficult to not play into the hands (minds) of these games.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if someone shows signs of attraction/flirting towards me, that I have to return the favour and so play the game.
Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to interpret certain movements/tones as a form of attraction/flirting.
When and as I see myself desiring to participate within the character/personality and so participate within the game of attraction/sex/flirting, I stop and breathe. I realise that any movements/change to a 'different' me/version of me is the instant real time sign that I am not HERE within and as my physical body, and that I am in fact too busy participating within my mind and so emotions/feelings/thoughts/games with myself and others. I commit myself to be aware of any movements towards a different version of myself.
I commit myself not to play the game of attraction/sex/flirting with others, because that is separation of who I actually am/should be as a physical being here.
I commit myself to remain here as my physical self when in the vicinity of females that I see are 'compatible' by having a look at them and seeing them just as myself, simply as another human body, albeit with differing features.
I commit myself not to be directed by 'differing features' of females and use that as incentive/reason/justification to play the game within my mind of attraction/sex/flirting.
I commit myself to stop separating males and females by their differing features. Features do not define a person at all.