Monday, 4 April 2016

Day 555 - Selective hearing

A lot of the time within my share house with many people, I'll be in my room and here others chatting outside. It's at that point where I change my focus of hearing on what it is that I'm doing in the moment/here, to what is being said elsewhere/not here. I mean it's different if I'm hearing HERE on what it is that I'm doing and I can STILL hear what is happening elsewhere for whatever reason, but I make genuine changes to focus solely on what is happening/being said elsewhere.

I'll for instance mute my tv. Pause my ipod. And stop any sounds that are being made.
I want to know what others are saying. Why? I want to know if they are talking about/of me. Again, why?
I fear that they are talking 'badly' about me. But then I ask myself here and now, have I done anything for others to talk 'badly' about me? And the answer is no.

So this is some unnecessary and unrealistic fear of mine. Because there is no substance at all to it. I've not done anything that would provoke 'bad talking' of me, or negative talking of me, so what's there to fear/worry about? There isn't anything to fear/worry about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others are always talking negatively about me in some way.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to ask myself the question in the moment of this fear of "What have I done to promote negative speak of myself?"

When and as I see myself desiring to mute my tv/ipod and/or stop sounds so that I can solely focus on what is being said elsewhere in the fear that all this talk is directed at me in some way, I stop and breathe. I realise that this fear has no substance at all because there is nothing that I've actually/legitimately done that would promote negative talking of me. So I commit myself to do what it is that I am doing and to continue doing it despite hearing talk elsewhere.

I commit myself not to listen 'blindly' to what is being said elsewhere, because that is exactly what I'm doing, listening 'blindly' - because again there is NO reasons to fear that others are talking negatively of me at all - I am listening as the mind and as fear without substance.

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