Thursday, 7 April 2016

Day 556 - The deep end

I've been hugely avoiding 'the deep end.' That being the moments where I will exit my comfort zone and have to face new boundaries and new obstacles. I've found it hard most of the time to leave my comfort zone. Having said this, I've left my comfort zone in my process with Desteni. Quite a lot actually now that I remember/realise - nonetheless, I must take it to the next level. The next level of being 'uncomfortable.'

It's certainly easy to play it safe/play it comfortably. Humans like the easy life, the safe/comfortable life, or most do. But really, who is more rewarded - those in the safe/comfort zone for their life, or those who constantly and consistently try new things in life/go for gold so to speak? Even if those that try new things/reach far fuck up in the moment/look 'silly' - they've already grown and expanded - and that's the take home message.

It's the will to actually go for it. To be willing to try something new/something seemingly 'uncomfortable.' Though it's not actually uncomfortable, it is purely something we are unfamiliar with. We as humans can't be expected to know how EVERYTHING functions. There are so many things to try/utilise in the world. But without the will, we'll never know/learn.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lack the WILL to push myself into the deep and so as to expand myself and leave my comfort/safe zone so as to gain reward as learning new things/discovering new things in the ONE and ONLY life I have here physically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exit my comfort zone when I see that I can/want to, but not do it in other moments where I see that I can't/don't want to.
I see that I must delete the comfort zone that I have lived within and as.

I commit myself to allow myself to garner reward for doing new things/going head first into new moments through reward as experience of the new moment - within this, not looking at if the moment is successful as to whether then I get reward, but realising that the reward is in itself just for pushing myself and willing myself into the new moment/experience - THAT is the reward, no matter the outcome of the new moment/experience.

Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to obsess over the outcome of the potential moment/experience whereas if it is one I am apparently not comfortable with, I will see it having a negative outcome wherein I am perhaps humiliated/laughed at - which is an unnecessary and unrealistic fear and I just use this as an excuse to avoid going for new moments/experiences to expand me.

I commit myself to give myself the opportunity to expand myself by pushing through as the will to try new moments/experiences.
I commit myself to just go for it and accept whatever happens, fuck up or not. I commit myself to get my reward and utilise my reward however I want to as/after I will myself into a new moment/experience.

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