Tuesday, 7 June 2016

Day 571 - Desire for something more


I cannot be accepting of myself if I am in constant desire for something more. Here is how I see this: Through desiring something of myself or even something that I see can 'add' to myself/my life, I see that it renders my CURRENT life/situation as low or not reaching some standard as desire that I have. This is definitely an unhealthy thing, because as I said earlier, I am not accepting/have not accepted me as I am here with what I have here NOW, and from my experience, I then participate within emotions as a state of depression/sadness - PERHAPS until I have this desire as me/in my reach, but even then, another desire will come along to pull me back to depression/sadness.

Specifically in relation to process and self-change, I can ALWAYS be something more. So there is a realisation of that as desire, a desire to be better, a desire to be more - I see that this can work in a constructive way in terms of pushing myself to write for instance, to keep bettering myself. But that should be a simple decision simply as what is best for all. And not a DESTRUCTIVE desire, like "I have not reached my potential yet, I am a failure." That is obviously destructive and resembles what I tell myself as my mind.

It is mainly that, that I want to focus on, desire for self-betterment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire destructively in terms of self-judgment/neglect of in fact how I've ALREADY changed thus far in my process.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to use desire as something simple, as a step, a decision - to write every day, to better myself in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire potential and a self-betterment that has not yet happened for me/as me as a destructive desire as self-judgment of not being there yet - here obviously failing to realise that process is not fast.

I commit myself to use desire as simplicity, as a step and as a choice/decision to write. I commit myself to use desire from a starting point of being calm and considerate with myself, a calm step/decision to write for self-betterment, SLOWLY.

I commit myself to utilise patient desire as taking my time with myself and with writing.

2 comments:

  1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that there is only this moment, now,and that past is only baggage , to be aware of it, and that it must not be carried all the time with me , by me , and not even at me,where I can simply, put it down and than take walk around/through/near/away/without it(weightless) , as needed. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give away that ability TO START AGAIN ,NOW,in every moment of my BREATH,in any part of my BREATH . I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget that change is nothing special/difficult/complicated/danger/demanding , but only breath in , do it, breath out. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thought "NO,don't do it, what are others going to think/say about that?" ! I forgive myself that I have accepted allowed myself to get paralyzed/stoned/scared whenever I have to change my path and do something differently than usual,where I always start thinking about the future, from the past( how is that going to influence my "beautiful"picture of myself,carved , all through the past, and finally what are others going to think about that change in the future?)...........Thanks Anthony,very inspiring post !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you equally, Dragan. I enjoyed reading your self-forgiveness here. Thanks for sharing!

      Delete