Friday, 17 June 2016

Day 576 - NOW it’s personal


At times I see that I still allow my mind to make something VERY personal – a personal attack on myself, a personal attack on who I am, what I am, and everything about me. Like if I am chatting to someone online and they disconnect the chat (chatting with strangers), or if someone ignores what I have to say in an email, or if someone in particular does not ‘like’ my Facebook activities – I tend to make these all personal.

Then I take a step back and breathe now..

I do not in reality know why others do or do not do what they do, and frankly if I am obsessing over what they do or do not do when it comes to myself, then this is MY problem. Because it should NOT matter what another does/does not do regarding me at ALL.

So here I am as the mind, taking it personally of course, and within this trying to figure out the reasoning behind people not doing things that I’d LIKE them to do. Of course I don’t know the reasoning behind people’s choices, only they know. And within that I cannot rely on another’s actions to make me ‘feel at peace.’

See, that is what I want, to feel at peace, to feel accepted – to be understood. And I know here as the physical that that peace, acceptance and understanding can ONLY come from within me. As my starting point to all that I do. Then, if this is the case, then what another does in relation to me is simply what it is, a choice by them. But here I will not cling onto this choice no matter which way it goes, because it is THEIR choice. Just like my choices are MY choice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make little things, and CHOICES that others make personal – as a personal attack on me, what I am, who I am, and all that I stand for.

Something else I was going to write out was the unpredictable nature of basically everything, everything that happens in the future IS unpredictable. I do what I do/can do as myself, but still there is an unpredictable nature, and that increases massively when others are involved – something to see, realise and understand for myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that life and so the future IS unpredictable – I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to EMBRACE the unpredictable, because whatever unpredictable thing that happens, happens. I cannot alter it, once it happens, it’s happened, so I accept it, I understand it and I do what has to be done or I move on from it, or I learn from it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe there is something wrong with me, that there is something wrong with who I am, with what I stand for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind to direct me through taking things personally and so as a personal attack on my very being as life.

When and as I see myself failing to embrace another’s choices and the unpredictability of the future, I stop and breathe. I realise that the only thing I can control is MYSELF and MY OWN actions. Thus everything else including another’s choices/decisions and other factors ARE UNPREDICTABLE and so EXTERNAL and so OUT OF MY CONTROL. I realise that I cannot control everything. I realise that I am NO GOD, I am not a almighty powerful being that is able to enter another’s body and make choices THAT SUIT ME. I am not some spirit that can enter anything and affect it TO SUIT ME.

I commit myself to SUIT MYSELF through MY OWN ACTIONS and CHOICES/DECISIONS.

I commit myself to suit OTHERS through my own actions and choices/decisions.

I commit myself to allow another’s choices/decisions to suit me. I commit myself to learn from another’s choices/decisions.

I commit myself NOT to jump to conclusions as the mind and so as personal attacks on what/who I am as a human life.


I commit myself to embrace EVERYTHING. I commit myself to embrace the future. I commit myself to embrace another’s choices/decisions. I commit myself to embrace the weather. I commit myself to embrace smoke alarms going off. I commit myself to embrace insects getting in my room. I commit myself to embrace every tiny thing that MAY happen so that I can immediately move on from it, learn from it, accept it, understand it – or a combination of these things.

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