Saturday, 18 June 2016
Day 577 - Do I not belong?
Boy oh boy, I can relate to this feeling so so much! In childhood, teens and early adult years. Genuinely, only after investigating what Desteni is and knowing the tools of writing and the courses that Desteni provides, was I actually able to realise that I DO belong, as do ALL. Nobody does NOT belong. And it's unfortunate that this feeling of not belonging can manifest heavily in our lives and take such a strong and deep impact on each of us, even to the point of ending our life.
None of the support out there GETS to the point of WHY we feel this way, how we feel this way. We're usually told to speak to counsellors and such for help, but they do not know OURSELVES as WE DO. It purely comes down to how we see ourselves. How we are judging ourselves. And it's cool to see if we can find out the triggers, the memories as to why we feel like an outcast in the present. A lot of these memories come from our younger years.
And if we 'feel' like we don't belong, for whatever reason, we must ask ourselves WHY? Because, and as much as we'd like to trust the backchat/the thoughts in our mind of "I feel like I don't belong because of (enter person's name here)." - well, then we are of course externalising that and MAKING it about someone else. Then it can get to the point, and I've seen this in my own life, where I just WON'T do something/attend something UNLESS I KNOW FOR SURE that that person will NOT BE THERE lol.
So I make it all about them. THEY direct what I do or do not do. Then I bring it back to self. How crazy is that? To stop myself from doing something that I actually would LIKE to do, because of 1 person. And it doesn't have to be just 1 person, it can be multiple people. And/or it can be the actions that they are taking which I don't like and again so I manifest this avoidance to 'deal' with the situation. Because how else can I deal with it other than to turn my back on it and walk away?
Truth is, if we just walk away and avoid seemingly 'difficult' scenarios and people, then we'll never learn or grow. We'll never obviously take self-responsibility.
Now, if we ARE to take self-responsibility and investigate WHY we hate this person or hate their actions or behaviour, we'll be able to then know what really is behind this feeling of hatred. Because it doesn't just come out of the blue. There are sometimes really deep meanings behind this hatred.
And that is of course when writing comes into play. Writing is the absolute key to discovery and solution - along with self-forgiveness. Damn, yes it can take multiple writings to unravel and unravel points WITHIN a point, but it'll be worth it. No more avoiding people/groups etc for reasoning of hatred! Hatred is the mind.
So, continue, or, start the writing. See what Desteni is about, see how to write, start the courses, take self-responsibility - because that in the end is what it's about. We all have the power to change, it's up to us to direct it through writing and self-honesty/self-investigation.
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